"Why are you tired all the time? WHY?"

"What? A 2-year-old can use the stove to warm up food? Really? Wow. You learn something new every day."

"Uhh...OK, you just left while trying to have a baby. That's not the way it works." *minutes later after a new baby appears* "Oh. It did work. Who would have thought it."

"Just go and work, you idiot! Your wife can put away the groceries by herself!"
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"Oh, the irony! The contrived, hamfisted IRONY!" (Berserk Abridged)