I had a very strange situation similar to this - I was watching my builder (Shuka, age 61), and she changed to an Esteemed Elder and her totem popped onscreen for a split-second and disappeared! (I've noticed that the totem usually appears at the same spot the villager is at the moment they become an elder.) -- at the SAME moment, a dead body appeared over by the fire. I wanted to change my Elder's clothing right away (I give all the Elders the long white robes to distinguish them), so I did that, then I went looking for the totem. Couldn't find it anywhere. Finally clicked on the bones to see who had died, and it was that villager!! (Shuka, age 61)

Frantically I went looking for her, found her, checked the details, yep, it was the same villager! So she is dead, has the most recent tombstone, and yet is a living Elder, and doesn't have a totem! What is going on??