Personally, I think if a "matriach" becomes a master parent, and grows old, that she's just as esteemed in my eye as an "esteemed elder". Just because she doesn't have a totem, doesn't mean that she's not getting credit for her accomplishments!!

My personal strategy is to have the young women "work for a living", and allow them to become parents when they're further along in life. Not too late, if I'm looking for children, but later if I'm not. They'll be parents long enough to maybe mother a kid or two, then when they're too old to have kids, they'll be able to raise in parenting skill faster by making out with the boys, or they can spend their time teaching the kids.

Of course, I only have a handful of elders, so my strategies may not be the best.