I can't get one villager to be an esteemed elder! It's frustrating. Is there anything I need to do, or any pointers I need?

I don't think there's really any secret, except to start the villagers with the right aptitudes at the right time in the game. Farming, Building, and Research are probably the three easiest to master, but building may become difficult at various times in the game, depending on what's available to work on.

Parents are easier to develop after they get older (they are free to make love without the risk of pregnancy).

Other than that, I don't know what else to suggest. Every villager has different aptitudes to different tasks, so some will be easier to make elders than others.

only thing i experienced was that you have to be really veeeeery patient

It doesn't hurt to shut off the game sometimes, and go attend to other things.

Like the mask says, "If your hand gets tired, give it a rest!"

I've found that the younger the villager starts in Building and Healing, the more likely it is that they will master in those fields. Then I switch them to Research and let them master there, then finally Farming.

Building and Research are the two fields that villagers seem to get injured in and they will recover easier while they're young, also something to consider.