I have lost a whole village and 2/3rds of another. One thing I discovered in VVI was if you drop whomever is doing the healing at the top of the "sick" person you are more likely to have him healed. At least nursing mothers in VVII can be healed. I have also had to sometimes have the kids do the healing. Sometimes it takes someone of the same gender.
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The beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are but on how happy others can be because of you.