It depends on which mode I'm in whether I have the females or males initiate the "romance." If I'm trying to control the population, I only have the females start. They'll usually succeed at some point... It helps if they have "breeding" checked. If I just want to keep the population going I'll pick one male from each "generation" and with 2-3 in the village with "parenting skills" they keep the village population growing as it can.