Being a retired teacher sort of colors my speech:

"I've taught KINDERGARTNERS more cooperative than you - stop with the "no" already and get to work."

"OK - he's elderly and not much to look at - but he's the only man on the frigging island and all the children are girls. Just hold your nose and do your duty!"

"Enough with the laundry already. I taught fourth grade and I KNOW about the pencil sharpener ploy - same difference!"

"No, you don't NEED to go move the rock right now - it's not going anywhere!"

"Quit your complaining and get back to the table or you'll go for another swim with the fishies!"