Is it wrong that I'd like to see him, like, slashed by a tiger or something? I've had enough of his constant rainbows and bubbles of serenity, his smug alien head and shiny robe of delight. Before slashing him, the tiger could taunt him: "Golden Child, you'll never grow a beard!" "Golden Child, you'll never know the Going Indoors of a woman!" "Yeah, Golden Child, make some berries with this!" You know, or something like that. Maybe he could just get dysentary or something.

I do, however, think it's funny that he's a top-notch breeder at age 5.