The Rules:

{1} Bedtime is 6:00-6:30 (ages 2-5), 6:30-7:30 (ages 6-8), 8:00-9:30 (ages 9-16), whenever you're tired (ages 17-death).

{2} T.V. is an hour-long limit. Grown-ups (20+), get two hours. Family time is special, however, and can have three hours. But ONLY family time!

{3} No snacks before dinner! No dessert if dinner is not eaten! Organic foods only, if possible.

{4} Kids must do chores, or else no T.V.

{5} Kids 2-6 must take at least one nap per day, OR ELSE.

{6} Nursing mothers shall be treated with respect, OR ELSE.

{7} Please pop a pimple only when no one else is in the bathroom.

{8} Do not go into the parents room when they are trying to make a baby.

{9} Sick people shall get to rest. Old people will get to lounge about. Children will get to be childish, etc.

{10} No banging dishes.

{11} No painting on the walls.

{12} Kids must only get out of bed for "Natue is Calling". There WILL be CURFEW.

{13} OBEY THE GUIDING HAND! I RULE SUPREME!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!