That bug has always been there. If you don't answer the mail before switching families it won't let you go back and answer it.
Not for me. As soon as I heard the *ping*, I would save the game, then answer the mail. If I didn't like the look of the suitor, I could pause, copy the saved game from a backup folder and go back and try again. I read about that trick on here somewhere, and it saved a lot of time waiting for Mr or Ms Right to come along.
