The best one is

Are you sure you want to adopt this little girl? Your 58 yrs old.. if your anything like the rest of your family you wont live past 61. Ok fine. Sure enough she died at 61 and I said "See I told you that you were to old to adopt, now I have to feed the kid and make sure it doesnt die before going to college" grumble grumble..
why doesnt she tell me she's sick? oh no she just goes from working in the office to dying on the bed without a by your leave.. grrrreat just great..