I'd like to be able to force them into monogamy if I like, but "unbind" them also, if I like.

I don't care for the forced period of grieving. People don't always grieve. I remember my english teacher telling me about some old gravestones she'd read - one woman's gravestone advertised her husband's gravestone-carving business and another man's stone said "grieving widow in need of comfort" followed by her address.