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#193316 - 05/12/09 08:57 AM
Dysfunctional family?
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Trainee
Registered: 05/12/09
Posts: 29
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I'm not sure if this has been posted before but I wanted to ask anyway.
For one of my families, the parents seem to argue whenever I try to get them to embrace each other or to try for another kid. I noted that it takes an average of 2-3 years before they try for another kid but the two kids are 8 and 10 and yet they keep insisting it is not time/not ready.
Another issue is that the parents don't interact with the kids. In my first family, the parents do interact -by tickling. But for this family, if I put a parent with a kid, the kid stands still while the parent will stop for a moment before walking away.
Can I encourage them to bond or is it unlikely to correct?
_________________________
the dark; where demons played, iron men roamed with beasts, and the devil held all the cards.
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#193319 - 05/12/09 09:27 AM
Re: Dysfunctional family?
[Re: sapphyrebaby]
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Newbie
Registered: 05/09/09
Posts: 4
Loc: Switzerland
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Do your parents want kids? I've noticed with my own families and a lot on this board that if the parents have a low desire for kids (no way or not really) then they aren't as likely to have a lot of kids.. And they don't seem as likely to care about their children once they do have them. Parents who want kids (definately or it would be nice) seem to be content to have another one as soon as the mother stops carrying around the last one and they seem to interact better with the children.
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#193341 - 05/12/09 01:46 PM
Re: Dysfunctional family?
[Re: Zirallan]
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Trainee
Registered: 05/12/09
Posts: 29
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Well.. The father has the 'maybe' attitude but the mom has the 'definitely' attitude. It's very frustrating on the baby front.
The mother seems to hate the kids! She ignores them and when I put them together, she simply walks off. The father isn't too bad. He does stick around for movie nights and dinners unlike his wife who would run off soon after everyone's settle round the TV or dinner area.
_________________________
the dark; where demons played, iron men roamed with beasts, and the devil held all the cards.
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#193342 - 05/12/09 01:49 PM
Re: Dysfunctional family?
[Re: AlicelovesVV]
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Master
Registered: 05/21/08
Posts: 514
Loc: South Korea
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Even if they argue, keep dropping them on each other until they try to make a baby.
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If I can get them to think, I'm half way there...
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#193343 - 05/12/09 01:49 PM
Re: Dysfunctional family?
[Re: AlicelovesVV]
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Trainee
Registered: 05/12/09
Posts: 29
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My peeps definitely want kids, but still they keep arguing every time I let them try.  mine too. They actually have a more positive view on children.(the mother's a 'Definitely' on that front) but they argue at every chance I put them together. The daughters are 11 and 9 now. I hate big age gaps to be honest, which makes me a little more frantic to quickly get one more -to follow the realism of a Chinese family of having a son to carry on the family line.
_________________________
the dark; where demons played, iron men roamed with beasts, and the devil held all the cards.
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#193372 - 05/12/09 04:55 PM
Re: Dysfunctional family?
[Re: ajuma]
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Master of Meditation
Registered: 09/13/06
Posts: 4896
Loc: London, UK
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Even if they argue, keep dropping them on each other until they try to make a baby. That's right. It might take several minutes, but eventually they'll "kiss and make up" and try for a baby. Whether they'll succeed is another matter ... Only if they shake their heads and say "NO!" is it not (yet) possible to get them to try for a baby.
_________________________
To err is human; to arr is pirate.
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#193507 - 05/13/09 04:53 AM
Re: Dysfunctional family?
[Re: arnie]
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Trainee
Registered: 05/12/09
Posts: 29
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That's right. It might take several minutes, but eventually they'll "kiss and make up" and try for a baby. Whether they'll succeed is another matter ...
Only if they shake their heads and say "NO!" is it not (yet) possible to get them to try for a baby. I hope so. The mother's 46 now. I know that it's possible to try until 50 but the way things are going, I think the odds are really against me. =(
_________________________
the dark; where demons played, iron men roamed with beasts, and the devil held all the cards.
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#193521 - 05/13/09 05:57 AM
Re: Dysfunctional family?
[Re: sapphyrebaby]
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Master
Registered: 04/19/08
Posts: 610
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She ignores them and when I put them together, she simply walks off. The father isn't too bad. He does stick around for movie nights and dinners unlike his wife who would run off soon after everyone's settle round the TV or dinner area. There are days that I run for the hills as soon as the kids latch onto my husband.  Doesn't mean I don't love them, but a little me time stolen when I can get it is priceless.  Seriously though, in one of my families I have a father who wants kids less than the "definitely" mother. I have noticed that if I drop him onto her, they are much less likely to argue about having kids. If I drop her, they will argue at least half a dozen times. Try making sure you are starting the action with the one that wants the kids the least and see if it helps a little. 
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#193530 - 05/13/09 06:31 AM
Re: Dysfunctional family?
[Re: knksmiles]
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Trainee
Registered: 05/12/09
Posts: 29
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I did try both ways, its a no go. They would start arguing and the poor henpecked husband would walk off to do laundry or clean the fridge. Poor him. =( There are days that I run for the hills as soon as the kids latch onto my husband.  Doesn't mean I don't love them, but a little me time stolen when I can get it is priceless.  I understand but considering she ignores them the whole time and neither has she put any effort (despite my constant praises) into her career. Could it be I had randomly encountered a slob/slacker adoptee?
_________________________
the dark; where demons played, iron men roamed with beasts, and the devil held all the cards.
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