Lets just say that the Elders name is Nato. Nato is a healthy, young villager with no reason to die. At the same time, there is a villager living in your tribe who also has the name Nato. He is not an esteemd elder, and is quite sick and weak.
One day, the weak Nato died. His name went on the gravestone, and because he was only a trainee farmer, there was no Esteemed Elder inscription on the grave. The healthy, master at 3 skills Nato is still alive and happy for three more game years.

This all makes sense. The only part I dont understand is the disappearing totem...it's probably a small glitch.

Also, villagers don't celebrate when someone becomes an EE.