The SPVC is the Society for the Perpetuation of Villager Cruelty.



The Chairman is Lurkily.
The co-Chairperson is Lady Ronin.
His vice-chairperson is Airstream Raider.
Other members of the board of chairpersons will be added as they have the inclination to join.

The SPVC is based on this declaration:

The Guiding Hand's Bill of Rights

Preamble:
Now, therefore the players of the SPVC proclaim this universal bill of the rights of the Guiding Hand as a common standard for all villagers and all villages, to the end that every villager, keeping this Declaration constantly in mind, shall strive by any means necessary to promote respect for these rights and to secure their universal and effective recognition and observance, both among the villagers of Member Villages themselves and among the villagers of territories under their jurisdiction.

Article 1:
All villagers are born only with the dignity and rights granted them by the Guiding Hand. The Guiding Hand is endowed with reason and conscience and should act to accomplish its goals as it sees fit, regardless of acute discomfort inflicted upon villagers.

Article 2:
Punishment shall be dispensed only as the Guiding Hand sees fit, in the pursuit of increased productivity or that of punishing the lazy and infirm for their poor performance.

Article 3:
(1) The Guiding Hand has the right to set the standard of living for any tribe and villager, without regard to adequacy for the health and well-being of the villagers, or the number of villagers crammed into each hut.

(2) Motherhood and childhood are entitled to no special care or assistance. The Guiding Hand shall decide if any such assistance is necessary. Such assistance is more likely to be granted if you moms would finish nursing and get back to sweating.

Article 4:
All Member Tribes shall do everything in their power to accomplish their goals, regardless of such frivolities such as peace, health, and long life. You can eat later. You can sleep later, too. Nobody said love was unconditional.
_________________________________________________________________

Those who feel the same way must show it. The SPVC requires nothing to join. All that is asked is that, if you agree, post "SPVC Member" in your signature, or "SPVC Headquarters" (Or some variation thereof) to 'location' in your profile to show that you are against needless pampering of Villagers. By adding that to your profile, you agree to the following:

"I, with the Isola gods as my witnesses, regardless of how I may have pampered virtual villagers in the past, agree to not permit misguided feelings for villagers to hinder my goals further in any way. Having "SPVC Member" in my signature shows that I agree to these terms whole-heartedly and wish to show it to all."

The form:
_________________________________________________________________

Hum. Well, I had a form. Forms are overrated. Vows doubly so. Just say you agree while clicking the heels of your ruby slippers together three times. I'll take your word for it.
_________________________________________________________________

Please keep in mind that this is intended as a joke. I honestly don't care if you're offended by my callous treatment of two-dimensional pixels rendered for entertainment value, but my purpose here, in this parody of the SPCV, is to squeeze a chuckle out of you.

And, maybe, convince Lady CFII that salt mines, lion pits, and whips are needed to coax the villagers to work harder, in VV4. Or to get rid of the undesirables.

Articles based on the Universal Bill of Rights. As I'm parodying the SPCV, I decided to use, mostly, the same selections they did.

LOL Lurkily!!!

That's Lurkily for ya, indeed!

Hmm, sounds vaguely familiar. Where have I heard that before?

*loud sounds saying "SPCV" flow through my head*

In fact, you even accidentally wrote SPCV instead of SPVC. Hmmmmmm.

also why did you use the same letters. it got me so confuzed.

LOL
Nice.

Yeah, fixed. It's easy to get confused; this is on purpose.
Because it's supposed to be a parody of the SPCV - I intentionally made the two acronyms - SPCV and SPVC - easy to confuse.

[giggles madly] I have not been running those forced labor drills for nothing.

You will finish this hut.. now! No no... no eating.. no looking at fishies.. no drinks.. no relaxing.. work!

This picture says it all...
Not a boy in the bunch

that is so awesome! Totally hilarious. Wonderful for him... those poor girls...

I will join. Please put me on the board of chairpersons if you have space. I will put SPVC in my signature as well.

Hmmm, Lurkily starting a thread like this..... why am I not surprised?

I guess now the members of the SPCV have an even greater reason to spell it right!

I'm in.

And I thought the VVFC was bad. Now, since about half of the SPCV members spell it wrong anyway, things are going to get annoying. A 1-star rating and a large frownie face.

[__]---[__]

......_.......
.._/....\_...
/............\

Well, it's what you'd expect:



And FYI, I do have a sense of humor. And I do get it.

lol

The only thing that bothers me is that people are actually joining and taking this seriously.

Hurt the Villagers...Hurt the Villagers...Hurt the Villagers...Hurt the Villagers! (sung to the tune of "Kill the Wabbit")

The new theme song?

*Signs John Hancock type Sig on The Guiding Hand's Bill of Rights*


AIRSTREAM RAIDER!

Can I also sign? I would like to be a board member please.

Due to the chastisement of sensitive viewers, I will remove SPVC from my signature unless it becomes a member ID requirement.

That's always been my beef with the SPCV. A few members apparently take it so seriously that they find the need to jump all over other members who happen to mention (or ask about) something that isn't "being nice to villagers."

I think a little friendly poking has its place on forums. It's not like this is likely to start a flame war.

... or at least I hope not.

A long time ago,
in a land far away,
the Guiding Hand guild,
looked for new ways to play.

Some liked it hot,
and some like it cold,
but none of them liked,
someone who was bold.

They searched and they searched,
both up high and down low,
but couldn't be nice,
to their tribes all aglow.

They said to themselves,
this one's lazy and fat!
Let's send him away!
Or feed him to a cat!

They made poison stews,
and made potions explode!
They tried with their hearts,
to make villagers old.

Their tribes had no choice,
but to follow along.
They did what they could,
but sang a sad song.

Then out of the blue,
a storm cloud appeared.
The wind made a howl,
and the sun disappeared!

The guilds men did tremble,
and bowed down their heads.
ROM had shown up
and filled them with dread!

"I AM THE GREAT ROM!
NOW LISTEN TO ME!
BE NICE TO YOUR TRIBES,
OR FROM ISOLA FLEE!"

Great poem, Rock!

love the poem

Are they? I think people are joining specifically because they do not take it seriously.

They're pixels for goodness' sakes. And they have a bill of rights? A right to love? A right to housing and comfort when despite having five huts, they all cram into one hut when the weather's too bad to go out and they live in one hut per 25 villagers?

I think it's specifically because people don't take either the SPCV or the SPVC seriously, that they're willing to sign here when they aren't willing to sign at the SPCV.

It's just a game. And this, this is just a joke. Signing on the dotted line isn't subscribing to a way of life, and it's not even showing that you approve of such things outside a game. It's not even showing that you do such things INSIDE a game. There's no vow in my post, and even the 'agreement' is intentionally vague. For instance, if your goals ARE the comfort of your villagers, you can be a member of both organizations without breaking either agreement, or the SPCV vow. (Which I intentionally left out.)

All that it means is that you're partaking in a joke that hopefully, is bringing many chuckles. I'll ask to have the board of chairpersons updated when and if I have a full roster; 12 total. And if I'm not too lazy. I don't want to ask an op to update a post for me over and over again; CFII's been nice about it before, but I had a better reason then. It's also not their job and I don't want to abuse whatever favors I'm granted.

Unfortunately, I failed to take into consideration the 'E for everyone' rating when I posted this, and a few of the articles will have to have their wording amended. I will do my best not to become too warm and cuddly, while eliminating language that children, or particularly parents of young children, might find disagreeable.

These amendments will, of course, be put up to a vote among the board. Unfortunately, I have a 25.5% share in the SPVC, and Lady Ronin also has a 25.5% share. Altogether, that's 51% of the vote. The other 49% will be evenly divided among the other 10 members of the board; once all ten members are in place, that will amount to a 4.9% share each.

In other words, me and my girl's word is law in the SPVC.

Thanks to the ops here for giving me the chance to re-write it; without their say-so, this post probably would have just disappeared.

You know I will always agree with you, Lurkily-love. Afterall it is best if everything remains E for everyone to have a good chuckle!

Please forgive the chopping of your post, but these are the key points I wanted to address.

I have to disagree with you in part. I think people DO take the SPCV seriously. I agree with you that this is "just a game," and that they are just "pixels on a screen." Still, the SPCV entails more than this.

I do find humor in your anti SPCV theme, hence the poem I wrote where "ROM" chases the bad guys/gals off Isola. ROM, of course, exists only in my head, just as the villagers exist only on the screen.

Having said all that, the reason I think people take the SPCV seriously, is that it embodies a principle way of thinking. We aren't deliberately cruel to our villagers just as we aren't deliberately cruel to people or animals.

I realize that at times, some people have carried this to an extreme, but I'm fairly certain that this was unintentional. In those few instances of which I'm aware, I or others have tried to soothe feelings which have been hurt.

The purpose of the SPCV was and is, to give people of a like mind the chance to express openness and appreciation of a way of life that shows compassion and a desire to be sympathetic and understanding of all creatures, human or otherwise.

In other words, you are entitled to your opinion, and we to ours. We should not step on each others toes, nor criticize how you live your life. It's just not necessarily how we choose to live ours.

I think you misunderstand. I know that many take the SPCV very, very seriously, perhaps as part of a stand against cruelty in general, rather than with regards directly or exclusively to pixels.

My point is that the people who post here, and join the SPVC, are the kind who I think are not likely to take either organization seriously. The very fact that you would put your name to principles that would be abhorrent, if applied to humans, shows that you are likely not the kind of person who takes the SPVC or the SPCV seriously.

This is why I say that the people who do not take the SPVC or the SPCV seriously are the kind of people who would sign here, when they would not sign with the SPCV, even if they are kind people who hate cruelty.

I am absolutely not trying to belittle those people who join the SPCV as a stand against cruelty in general.

PS: I did like your poem.

I'm NOT getting involved, we all know how crazy I went with the whole Dragon Breeders thing.

No, I do not, actually. But I think that may be a good thing.

Well. Here's how it goes.

Article 1 has been amended to "regardless of acute discomfort inflicted upon villagers."

Article 2 has been amended as "Punishment shall be dispensed only as the Guiding Hand sees fit".

Article 4 has been amended to "Nobody said love was unconditional."

I would have held a vote, but as I said, the word of the Co-chairpersons is law, so I didn't feel that it was necessary.

Lurkily wat about article 3?

and how did u start with a bill of rights if there was no constatution?

Now that the articles of SPVC have been amended to be E-friendly, I have put "SPVC Member" in my signature again.

Who needs a constitution? The SPCV made a bill of rights, even though they have no constitution. (Though the preamble to their bill of rights is modeled on the preamble to a constitution, not of a bill of rights, oddly.)

Article 3.2 WAS amended; my mistake. Mothers was amended to moms. I didn't see it until it was pointed out, but it COULD in theory be misconstrued as borderline obscene. Luckily, it was an easy fix. And that's all it's supposed to be! Cool! It'll be interesting to see how popular this joke becomes.

The SPVC now has official smilies! Use them as often as you like, wherever you like! In your sig, in your posts, whatever!


It's a small smiley with a whip, suitable for everyday use. The URL is: http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/Lurkily/smileys/Cheeky/Whip_Emote.gif

This one is much larger, and suitable for sigs, but perhaps only very rarely for posts. The URL is: http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/Lurkily/smileys/Cheeky/MI_Contest__Pyramids_by_teengkoh.gif

LOL crackin' the whip to get those villagers working hmm? you are bad, baby!

I like the SPVC smileys! I will use them throughout the forum every chance I get.

Hey I think this is hilarious I am ditching SPCV for SPVC

Welcome, Historygal, welcome to the dark side.

Ahhh, you appeal to the old drill sergeant in me! The whip cracker is indeed a powerful inducement! "Must resist the dark side! Must resist the dark side! Must r e s" "Resistance is futile!" "HELP ME OBI WAN KENOBE!"

Just flip the "CV" to "VC" and then you can add the whip-cracking smiley to your signature just like me!

A-he-hem... Sorry to burst your bubble, but those smileys aren't going to work in your siggies....
(Italics added)

Darn it!

I did forget about the non-animated. Ah well.

How about this? I'll make my own 80x240 siggy for us.

Can you freeze the little whip-cracking smiley so that it is a non-animated image? And then post the url here.

I know how to. Too bad I don't support villager cruelty.

Those smileys are kindda funny... But I will stick with SPCV.

Villagers have rights! I for one would make laws to safe guard the rights of a villager. They have a voice and should have a referendum, on what is voted in as law.

We must turn you from the dark side. There is good in you Lurkily, just search your feelings. Lurkily I'll not turn. You'll have to finish me off.

and if you must finish me don't torture me like your villagers.

Why torture you, TKD? I'll just put you to work in the salt mines. Might as well get some work out of you before you die.


I gave a villager a voice once. Let me tell you how that went.

ME: Hey, could you do some farming please?
Villager: Uh-uh.
ME: Well, look, we're really low on food and I'm trying to put your interests first. If you don't harvest some food, you're going to starve.
Villager: Uh-uh.
ME: But surely you must see that . . . uh . . . where are you going?
Villager: <Kissy sound, walks into a hut with another villager>
ME: Okay, if you're QUITE finished, you're still in imminent danger of --
Villager: <Kissy sound, walks into the hut with that same villager>
ME: Are you done? Listen, here's the NEW deal. If you don't get over there and harvest some fruit, you're going to be up to your eyebrows in orchid-potions, and when one of them blows up, well, I won't be responsible for what happens.
Villager: <Kissy sound - plucked away and locked in the alchemy lab>

Look, I understand that some in the SPCV are younger people who take their villagers as seriously as my niece took her dolls -- which each had a favorite flavor of tea for the tea parties, names, birthdays to remember, some dolls didn't like other dolls, and couldn't come to the same tea parties. And I seriously don't mean to anger you guys.

On the other hand, it's a game, and these 'villagers' are the outcome of programming and mathematics represented visually; no more sentient, and not as pretty as a fractal image generator. Let's try not to take this too seriously, and laugh where we can laugh?

Life has enough injustices to make me cry; let's not make them up where they don't exist.

LOL, Lurkily!!! Your 'poor' villager!!


Very well said! That's what I've been privately feeling myself.

Wellll, STRICTLY speaking, locking a villager in the alchemy lab to help prevent village starvation, is not a violation of SPCV policies. Neither is "forcing" a villager to learn farming in an effort to prevent starvation of the tribe.

This is, after all, no worse than locking away a bad person who has committed a crime in our civilization. We never said you couldn't "punish" certain bad behaviors, as long as it isn't capital punishment.

In the immortal words of Mr. Spock: "The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few."

Sounds to me, that at heart you may have the makings of and SPCV member after all!

Sounds to me, that at heart Rockmower may have the makings of an SPVC member after all!

Ahem, I also have a pertinent (sp?) quote. It's far less impressive, but I post none the less.

"With great power comes great responsibility."
I think that the power to decide if a villager lives or dies is a pretty great power...

"The Guiding hand is supreme." That's my quote. And that's why I'm an unofficial supporter of the SPVC.

You missed the other part.Remember what orchid-orchid-orchid does? Furthermore, remember what alchemy explosions do to very weakened villagers? I think the roster lists it as 'work accident' . . .

Announcement! The SPCV sig image is complete! It's a little low-res, due to size limitations (240 wide when most monitors handle 400 wide fine? Rrrrrrrr.)

I present to you . . .

You can get this beaut at:
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/Lurkily/SPVC.jpg

Some refinements may be made; for instance, it could look to some like the chief is pushing, not directing. When this is done, I'll replace the old image so it'll automatically be used; there may be a momentary downtime, as I delete one image to upload the next.

Edit: Happy now? Look what you made me go and do.


Edit 2:And you. Are YOU happy?

LOL LURKILY!!! I love it!
And you usually do stuff on your own.
Those poor, workin' villagers.

I see a slacker!

Why is that villager just sitting there???

Or is he clutching his little pixel heart because he's been worked to the point of dropping from exhaustion?

He's overworked.

Lurkily, it seems you get more evil everyday.

Hey, it's not easy. Do you know how much paperwork an evil genius has to fill out?

Oh, you poor thing. I can't imaging the villagers going through that much work.

You think they're working hard now? They don't know half the horrors of paperwork.

drop the paperwork lurkily and...

Come to the dark side...
WE HAVE MILK AND COOKIES!

One problem. I seriously doubt such a kind person as Santa has any place here. Santa's application is rejected.

Apparently I have ALWAYS been a member of the SPVC...... whenever I saw a slacker villager, if that person was a father or a mother, and they had a kid below 14.... I would pick that kid up, and put him/her acroos the lake, and on that tiny strip of land that they can't get oof of...... to get the kid back, the slacker villager would have to work so hard they would clutch their tiny pixel hearts and collapse from exhaustion.

I am sorry SPCV! I am turning to the dark side!!!!

wait..... NO!!!

I will resist the dark side!!! I have LOYAL SPCV member in my siggy!!! I will remain loyal to the SPCV!

AGH!! Too late, AG8-Saaaan! You have proved your evil-ness!
And Lurkily.

You know, Nigahiga can sue you for using one a slogan in one of their videos.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Look at my siggy! It says loyal SPCV member!

I will NEVER change the CV to VC HHT! NEVER!!!!!

YES YOU WILL!!!! AG8-San always changes.

MUST I SPELL IT OUT FOR U?!?!?

I W-I-L-L N-E-V-E-R J-O-I-N T-H-E S-P-V-C

FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!! WHO. IS. U?!?!??!?!
And I have joined the SPVC! Mwa, Ah ha ha ha ha ha!!

Hey, Kadgii pulled that out of the hat all by himself. I had nothing to do with it. Let him take the fall.

(Sizing removed)

Y3@h Y (@n4 u c h0/// (001 l33t |$ OMG ROFLOL!!!!1!!

<cough>

I see I haven't posted here. I just have one thing to say. The forums have taken two sides, the good and the bad. I'm not saying which is which, though.

LOL LURKILY!! I have no idea what you just typed!

Wisegirl, choose wisely. We of the SPVC believe in helping the village as a whole survive.... join us... buwahahaha!

Ok.... maybe I'll join..

ATTENTION! New goodies for loyal SPVC members! We now have a seal of approval, that you can insert into any post regarding the torment inflicted upon pixels!

I give to you . . . the SPVC seal of approval!

http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/Lurkily/SPVC-APPROVED.gif

This image is also within the site's signature image restrictions, though remember; only one image can be used in a sig.

Oh yeah! Love that seal, baby!

This is hard, mostly since I have sworn to SPCV. But, let me confess, I made a potion to weaken a villager I disliked, then, I regretted it and gave him a health potion. Then, I saw a villager saying he was burying the dead. I was hoping it wasn't one of the villagers I was working on to becoming a JOAT, but it was him. I feel so bad. Yet happy. Yet I also need to say it was his time. He died old. Anyway, his wife betrayed him with a younger one. Would that be cruelty? *bangs head a lot*

Wow, that seal is niiiiiiiiiiiice!

Yes, you belong in the SPVC. Plus we have cool smileys, siggy, and a seal! I give you the SPVC Seal of Approval for your dastardly actions.

Not to worry, at least for now, AnimeGirl remains a member of the SPCV.