This is the funniest list ever. I am new but here's me:

A skeleton! Who is it? What happened? Nishi! Nishi! My best worker! Wait......Nishi was holding twins! Where are Nishi's twins???????

That was early in the game. Now, it's:

Anybody caught washing their laundry or relaxing by the pond is going to church! That is when I pick them up and drop them in front of the idol.
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Fabala