Things you've said while playing...LOL {SPOILERS]

oh, ho.... don't you say "No" to me!

u guys are hillarious!!

Don't forget "Leave the dad gummed ruins alone. There is nothing you can do with them. Also quit trying to push the boulder, it's obviously NOT gonna move for you if it didn't move the first 400 times you and your friends have tried it. What makes you think something has changed now?"

After the school has been build:
- Hey you, have my baby, there's good education available, enough food, so why do you keep running stupid b*tch.
- Is there a degree in breeding available? Let's have it then!
- Why are you dancing, ignoring child? Go to school, I've worked hard so you can have quality education!

D**n it, don't you die on me, while I'm working as hard as I can to get enough tech points so you can enjoy an improved lifestyle! Ingratefull peeps.

OK so you're blond, but surely not that blond are you?
(after telling Rusha my blond buildress for the 400th time to water the field with dead plants)

If you try to move that d**n boulder one more time I swear to G*D I'm going to stuff you under it.

Stop _________(exercising, tellign a story, relaxing, complaining, doing laundry, dancing, etc...) and fish already. You've got villagers to feed so get to work already!!!!

Stop trying to knock her up, you need to heal her, you stupid doctor.

Your asking for it aren't you?
If you don't start healing the other peeps in your tribe right this minute, I'm gonna let her hunt you down like a rabbit.

When you LOOK at rocks, that's curiosity. When you STARE at them? That's just stupid.

why did you die on me??? now i'm stuck with your pesky little kids!!!

Do you not have any growth solution to grow the crops you've planted a little faster? No? What kind of master farmer are you then?

1. Oh my god!! I´ve made an orgy! (this after making 2 couples go indoors: one on pourpose..the other one not!)

2. What??!! Just because you are a grown up now you forgot how to pick up a flipping mushroom! stupid man!

What I have said while playing this game:

1. "Why do you have to walk so slow, you remind me of people at my work!!!" "Run like that guy, there is work to be done!!!!"

2. "If I wanted you to sit in the lagoon I would have put you there, now research ok?"

3. "Will you kids hurry up and get old enough to work instead of just eating food?"

4. "You are an idiot, could you possible get any stupider?"

5. "Don't shake your head at me stupid, build the hut!!!!!"

Yelling at the screen seems common place..
Me? nah I just keep wishing I had the "slap" in Dungeon Keeper that GC really really could use it...
oh that and "Could u possibly walk any slower?" and "now where's that stoopid builder gone" 3 days and still no hut!!

"Study that da*n medicinal plant, you're supposed to FIX people!"

and

"Oh, threesome!" A couple started going inside, and then the woman kissed another guy, so all three went inside together...I should call Maury to see who the father is!

Oh, and another personal favorite : "Why are you doing laundry? YOU NEVER CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES!" (I just realied that you can change their clothes if you press F6 while they're in the white circle)

i have a villiager that has high breeding & high research & she takes off kissing ALL the guys old enough to breed i said"there goes the ***** again she's knocked up"i say too many things & alot of them are X-rated.i've had some die a virgins.

Quit playing around you foolish GC and grow up. All your ability's are maxed up and you're still a kid after 24 hours.

So that's it huh? We've made it to the end together. Well you're on your own now. I wonder how long you can do without having me(virtual God) around.... LOL

No wonder the flowers were'nt growing, the kids were peeing on them!!

Boy there are some ugly looking kids on this island.

Stop trying to push that da*n boulder and do some work.

you do NOT need to study the boulder

"Uh oh, the graveyard is getting full. Stop dieing alredy!"

mushroommushroommushroommushroom c'mon mushroom!!! LOL

"If You go near that Darn boulder ONE More TIME, *I* will move it and let what ever monster that is in there out and it'll EAT Your Sorry Lazy A&&!"

~Yes I realize I am now beyond anger management!

Another issue I have is that I have this Lazy female researcher who feels she needs to relax two hours for every 10 minutes she works!
Or she'll stand in the middle of no where and "Waits for someone" But there isn't anyone going to her....EVER!
She gets thrown into the ocean ALOT!
LOL

Well I can see we're all being made somewhat insane... talking to a screen and imaginary people.

Things I have said....
"would you knock her up already?"
"i know he's ugly... sleep with him anyway... he has personality"
"omg you little pervert!"... that one was after a 18yo impregnated my 64 yo master builder.... ummmm if there's a new version ya wanna include menopuase? btw... if a nursing mother dies during nursing one of the non nursing adult females will take over.
and the thing i say most.... "if you little *&%%*)^$$$ don't start doing what I tell you I'm going to restart and erase your sorry a$$es!"

my people are accauly good...(choke)
here is what i have said:
" No! no more swiming! Men are the womens slaves! go do thier job for them! you dont have to carry a baby around for 2 village years!!!"
"did alia just have a two year old yeti or am i having a nigmare"
"omg! you just saved alia's life at two... i dont care about the gc go push that boulder kid!" he litterly saved his moms life at two by hiself.
" thats it stupid head get to 70 then you can die. "
" ladies let me have a word with you...HAVE A STUPID GIRL KID!!!!!!!!!!"
" i know he is a 72 year old freak in his underwear.. you still have to have a baby with him" that is all i can remember...

1. Oh God not a Typhoon.
2. How are you going to relax with all this work to do.
Lazy a**es

These were sooooo funny, i've said about half of them too. Everyone in the house looks at me in a funny way

man city you becomnig a professional *****

What is essentially my mantra while trying to breed: "Baby? Argh! ....Baby? Argh! ...Baby? ARGH!!!" etcetera, until my boyfriend comments.

About 20 minutes ago I let out an agonized groan and cried, "Laaauuuundry!!!"

Right now I have something like 9 kids running around between the ages of 2 and 11... and when I find a mushroom it goes something like this: "Mushroom!! You! Get it. Get it! No? Okay, you! -chooses another kid- Get it! GET IT! Freaking.. YOU! -grabs another- Get it? Get it?! PLEASE!! YOU... NOOO! It disappeared.... -dissolves into mock sobs-" Also you have to imagine this to the little funny noises the kids make when they are picked up.

It's not as if laundry or a couple lost mushrooms make much of a difference at all, but I get very... crazed... when playing this game... Don't judge me! -twitch-

Oh yeah, my boyfriend and I have a joke. We'll just be sitting at a restaurant and he'll turn to me and go, "I wonder how your villagers are doing. I don't think there was a lot of food left when you closed it..."

Or if I ever make a comment like "I'm tired... let's go home." He'll go "Yeah, let's go check on the villagers!"

u_u;;

I laughed when i read these threads. It sounds so much like me. Here are some of the things that I have said while playing:

1- why won't you die yet!
2- where is that squirt I see a shroom?
3- I told you to research dag gone it!
4- who the heck got you preggers?
5- what do you need to do laundry for? You never change clothes!
6- No! No! Don't do that!.......Awwwww man!

I have way too much time on my hands. I have 2 puters and roll back and forth between them checking my games. I say alot more than that, but I can't use half the language on here..........lol

You dirty old lech...let the women alone! (had 5 women go in at one time).

Stop with the kissing sounds...I know what you're doing, you don't need to advertise!

If you throw one more party you're toast!

Where's Jaw's when I need him-get in that ocean and cool off!

Get to work you lazy piece of ****

There is a "mushroom fix"? Tell me more.

"NO? NO? Don't you 'NO' me. I'll show you NO!"
"YES!"
"How can you be SO DENSE?"

I have turned into my mother for sure.

LOL! I have done the "No? Don't tell ME "no", you brat" thing a LOT, lol....

1. You dirty dog you got all the women pregnant again
2. I need to develop some form of contraception
3. No not the fertility fish, the women are fertile enough
4. Does someone want to adopt some of these kids
5. Anyone need to borrow my breeding women

I've said most of the comments quoted but my usual one is "NO NO you don't - get back to work"
I love this thread and makes me laugh to see that I'm not the only one talking to the screen and virtual villagers -people

When I was trying to nurse Ponui SR when he was a child.
I did the here mushroom mushroom mushroom.
But the worst thing I did was hide under the blankets like a little kid with the laptop. So I wouldn't wake my hubby up. So he wouldn't complain that I was addicted to VV. (who me? Never!)

lol

"You. Will. Learn. To. Farm!"

1. Now, why would you want to be exercising when you could be relaxing? You're elderly and I made you a Doctor, so quit trying to kill yourself! Go sit under the palm tree or something. Geez! (Two minutes later he tried to push the boulder...)

2. The mushroom was RIGHT THERE! What did you do with it? You are hiding it behind your back, aren't you? I KNOW it didn't just disappear because you tripped and lost it!

3. You have ZERO FOOD!!! Why are you DANCING? (the kids just don't care, do they?)

4. Are you kidding me? Twins? And they're both named 'Vanui'? (And by the look of it, they popped out on Halloween, perpetually costumed as the Wolfmen of Isola)

lol - especially 1 and 2

the other night when we was going to re-place the vv that died by getting a vv prego my sister-in-law said "wait she has crabs,let her get rid of them first" ROFLMAO

my neighbor thinks i'm calling her all sorts of names & won't believe me when i tell her i was talking about my game & not her. go figure.

Thank you...I had some more "conversations" with the villagers in my computer this morning...

5. How 'bout when there's no berries left on the bush, and you've eaten all the ones in the cart, THEN you can WORRY about FOOD! Go forage...now!

6. Hey, your daughter wants to HEAL you, not get you to go indoors! Stop trying to "run"(he's elderly, LOL) away and just sit down!

7. Fine, you want to be anti-social, refuse to work, make every man on Isola run away (figured maybe she could be useful without having to work and be in a crowd), and hoard that stupid black pearl? Seriously? Fine.
[she deletes her game and knows that the karmically vengeful South Wind will probably be the first guest on the doorstep when she starts a new one, and no kidding, whattya know...it's so(sniff) cruel, that South Wind!...]

I most often say:

"No more laundry for you!"

"Stop watering the f*&%@#()* crops and go pick some berries!"

"Where did all the researchers go? They were all at the table when I went to read the new posts on the LDW forum a few minutes ago but now they are all gone."

"Just get pregnant already."

"I TOLD you to {blank} now just freaking DO IT!!!"

Not really my favorite, but what I say to them most often. Why can't VVs just do what they're told, for I AM THEIR GOD!!!

Hubby made me laugh this evening - I'm used to hearing - "Quit doing laundry already.... there's treasure to be dug(or whatever it is he is trying to get them to do at that point)"

Apparently he had forgotten he had someone checked for breeding from earlier in the season when he was trying to get some babies (he had only adults at one point in his game). I was helping the our kids with studying for Spelling tests tomorrow when I him yell - "Quit chasing the girlies you filthy rotten dirty old man and go do laundry!!!"

Things you've said while playing...

"Wow....a man doing laundry, what a concept!"
"Stop knocking up Grandma"
"Why is it the men won't stick to the job I've given them?"
"Unsure what to do? Get a clue dude!"
"Worried about housing?!!! Stop knocking up your sisters"
"looks like a herd of breeding cows"

"I only tried to fed you - why did you get pregnant you're elderly and losing red bar"
In two separate games that I was feeding the oldies the woman that needed feeding most got preggers!!! One then died and I have to keep putting the other one in the garden

Being a retired teacher sort of colors my speech:

"I've taught KINDERGARTNERS more cooperative than you - stop with the "no" already and get to work."

"OK - he's elderly and not much to look at - but he's the only man on the frigging island and all the children are girls. Just hold your nose and do your duty!"

"Enough with the laundry already. I taught fourth grade and I KNOW about the pencil sharpener ploy - same difference!"

"No, you don't NEED to go move the rock right now - it's not going anywhere!"

"Quit your complaining and get back to the table or you'll go for another swim with the fishies!"

This is so funny! I've said many of those!

"Do NOT tell me NO!" ("no, not you honey, my builder." said to my child.)

"You have been trying to learn for hours now. Just figure it out already!" ("no, not you honey, my farmer." said to my child.)

"Stay at the darned table!!!" ("no, not you hon, my researcher." said to my child.)


"While you're swimming don't you think you could grab a fish?!"

"Come on darn it! You Are a Master Farmer and can see the strange fish, just catch it already."

"The rock hasn't moved since your grandmother's time, leave it alone already!"

"Quit kneeling in that field!!! The kids are peeing in it!" "Oh great, so now you want to go for a swim to wash it off?!"

"What are you staying in that hut so long for? She's left already. Oh that's right, you're male and sleeping now!!! ;-D "

1. What the heck?! You're standing right on a mushroom. Pick it up already!
2. What do you mean kids can't swim? I'll toss them into the Lagoon and they'll learn pretty quickly...they didn't.
3. Hey, I thought there was only one 'person' who could walk on water.
4. What do you mean you don't know how to pick berries? You're 6 for God's sake!
5. How many times do I have to show you how to harvest, build, forage etc...arrrrrrggghhh?
6. Why won't you stay at that table and research? Are you a moron or what?
7. I'm sick to death of babysitting you people. If I have to show you one more time what to do I will scream...then I did.

*****Now to understand this ya gotta know, the area we live in refers to our small community as a Village (population is only 110)*****

My friend came over for a visit this afternoon and we were sitting on the porch talking about this and that..... hubby was inside the house.... I can safely assume at this point he was checking on his Villages..... well he came out the front door and all proud like looks at us and says ...."Well I finally got every girl in the Village pregnant now...."

..... my friend went into shock - I started laughing and couldnt stop .....

Laundry? What for, You wearing the same outfit since time began. I'm sure nobady will notice!
Darn Builders it takes them forever to end a task! Look at the Researchers they gain their Masters much quicker than every1.
What now, doing nothin doesn't get us anywhere, back to your chores you little tweeb!
Looking at my little ones to do work and it takes them forever to go from 13 to 14 - Grow up you can't hide behind the Mushrooms!
One was standing on the village center worrying about food, kicked her back into foraging - 'work frees your mind'
Going swimming? Don't forget to bring a fish!
Pushing the Boulder? Learn some healing while you there!
Excercising eh? Research excercises your brain!
Party, Party, Party, GC spoils you rotten, hey who had that recipe for poisoning him? If I get my hands on that recipe than the party is finally over.

1.no fish,no fish,no fish,no fish,no fish,no fish,FIIIIIIIISH!
2.hows it with my villa---yikes!
3.OMG!!!A FIELD!!!HOW WONDERFULL!!!!!!A FIELD!OMG!

1.work harder we need tech points
2. yeah great just die, it will help

Oh, please!!

and

Where this darn child is? (still looking for the GC)

Quote:

---

Oh, and another personal favorite : "Why are you doing laundry? YOU NEVER CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES!" (I just realied that you can change their clothes if you press F6 while they're in the white circle)

---

I assume that F6 thing is for the PC version of the game. Does anyone know how to access that particular feature on a Mac?

I haven't gotten all the way through the game for the first time yet, since I just found out about it a few days ago. I'm totally addicted. I haven't really started talking to my villagers like you all have, but now that I've read through this particular posting, I think I'll have a lot to say to them when I do! LOL

- Layla, product of the 70s

The F6 function works on a Mac, too, but if your function keys have more than one use, you may need to use a key combination to access F6.

Thanks so much, that is about the coolest thing in the game for me, so far. LOL Only 6 out of 16 solved so far. Trying not to spoil it for the first time for myself.

The combination is Function-F6, in case you were wondering. I forgot to try that one... oops. *blush*

1 Stop running u can pee later, MUSHIESS FIRST!!!
2 So u are waiting that my hand tells u what to do??? YOURE 45 GROW UP!!!
3 I NEED A DRUM FOR MY RESEARCH TABLEEEEEE!!!!!
4 I told u to SLEEP with her not ti MARRY!!!! STOP RUNNING
5 What r u doing!!! your 65!!!! stop chasing ur daughter`s mate!! U depraved go to rest or something!

6 hey no..no DONT (SMOOOOCH) KISS HERR!!!!!! BUILD !! BUILD I TOLD U TO BUILD!!!, ur not going anywhere Maya, hes 45, and u 19...what do u mean by nursing a baby..........

"Did I give you permission to breed? I think not!"
"What the.....stop boinking your BROTHER(/sister/mum/dad/etc.)!"
"Stop investigating the cactus! You already know about the bloody cactus. Don't you have research you should be doing?"
"Get back to work, peon!"
"Finally! A male! There shall be new generations, and they shall all be hideously inbred."

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh not another party

One more....

"Gah! You're a Master Scientist! No kissing! ARGH! That's your seventh kid!"

stop studying that cactus and get more tech points!!

In line at the bank, out loud

You're a Master Farmer! Why are you WORRYING ABOUT FOOD!!!!!!!!!! GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wasn't actually shouting, but it was close. I did however convert a new vict... I mean player. I told the lady in line in front of me about Virtual Villagers & where to find it. hehehehe

My husband and kids laugh at me while I play because I'm always talking to my villagers.

Once, I switched to another game/scenario I had going. The crops were full, the food supply was really low, and I had about 5 villagers at the research table! I said, "You morons! You're going to starve to death researching!"

I had about four females fishing and doing great. My Master Farmer who was in her 60's was catching crab after crab. I put one of my male farmers in the water and nothing. Again and again I put him in the water and kept getting him saying, "Nope." I yelled at him, "What kind of "he man" are you? The women are whipping your butt you wimp!"

And then I've said many other things I can't repeat on this forum.

please sto9p the kissing

Hehe, I've got nothing new from what everyone else has posted.

Any of these options are valid for things I've shouted :P

You! Why are you _______
1. sudying the cactus
2. staring at the ruins
3. trying to push that boulder
4. Doing your non-existant laundry

...when you should be ______
1. Researching
2. Farming/foraging
3. Building
4. Healing

Stop running for a second...I have a man for you!!!

here are some i say:
1."oh, no, scientists don't do laundry on my shift."
2."i don't think so,get back to work."
3."you think you need a drink?let's see, didn't think so. get back to work."
4."you want to try pushing the boulder?i don't think so,this is the only rock i want you to deal with,now start chiseling that rock."
5."here complain* to the fish about it"
*or argue,tell a story,teach....etc
6."where did that stupid idiot go now?"
7.(to the GC)" you may be a demi-god,but i'm still in controll here."

when i call my V V a bi*&* or simular words the people next dore think i'm talking about them, or conspiring against them.(druggies go figure)

OK I've only had this game for a day, and already I'm talking like you guys
1. I made you a researcher not a breeder. Quit trying to sleep with all the guys!
2. Get back to that table and get me some more tech points!
3. I gave you a job now go do it!
4. Pick up that dang mushroom or I'll throw you in the lagoon.
5. NO! Do not go in that hut! You need to water that darn field!
6. Get to work you lazy butt!
7. You're a builder not a researcher.

1.No,dangit!Stop tryin' to research and go clear the lagoon!
2.You can sit down AFTER your work is done.
3.They keep foraging till there's no food to forage!
4.'Bout time you died!
5.Get off your butt and work or I'll,I'll,do something horrible!

Oh hurry up and get that girl pregnant will you? I've got other jobs for you too buddy.

Please oh please don't die before you wean those twins.

1.Can't you see she doesn't want you?!Get over it already!
2.MOM!
3.Stop.Foraging.Already.Before.I.Kill somebody!

If you two (notorious slackers) don't stay on task, the next bad monkey that comes by, y'all are getting it!!

These guys are the worst! They are always wanting to go push on the ^&%*$ boulder or do laundry.

Great, you got her knocked up - now YOU do her job (grumble)

i loved your post...yes i have said many of the same things...its very strange plunking a father down on his daughter to get someone pregnant..weird...or a brother on his sister..so funny...this game is great...so much fun..my family can't stand it as i am on computer 8 hours a day playing...

things i have said:

1. NO MORE FISH... i have 5000 lbs of food...carrots, berries, fish, crabs..can't you people see you don't need to farm...????

2. wow you guys are getting old fast...

3. stop peeing in my flowers...

4. OH MY GOSH WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? I WAS ONLY GONE FOR 2 HOURS!!!!!!

thanks, i did get a laugh...trisha

My usual comments are "I don't THINK so" or "Where the heck do you think you're going???" as they sneak off to push a boulder or do laundry...or rain dance!
And once I got the Magic Child it was "Oh for freak's sake! Not another party" every three point five minutes....lol.
On that subject, is there another section/update or mystery to be solved, after all 16 mysteries are uncovered? That opened cave is bothering me....
Kayenne

man i loathe those parties

Why on earth are you wasting time RAIN DANCING!?!?! Have you not yet noticed that it DOESN'T RAIN here?!?! Geez...

Woah, how many people can fit in that little hut? Who knows whose babies are whose?

All right guys, that's enough. There are ten of you pushing that boulder at the same time, and it's not moving! GET A CLUE!!!!

Curious? You're curious?! Haven't you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat? Get to work!

Why does your head twist around your body so while you are dancing? It's just not natural...

WHAT?!?! The Golden Child makes berries? Why didn't I have you when the hurricane swept through and destroyed all my food?!?! Right now I have over 900,000 food! I don't need your stupid berries!

what do you mean your worried about housing!?! if you got back to work and BUILT THAT HUT you wouldnt be!

"I NEED girls"

No my a**.
I need an isolation tank for you two!
Ya'll are gonna starve.
Food! Did you think about food?? (Before GC)
Enough food! All ya'll think about is food! (After GC)
Hello?? There are sick people here!

"I know she's too young! I'm not a pervert I'm just trying to make her feel better!"

Woke up this morning and all but two of my people were dead....

"What am I supposed to do with two men. How can I have a baby now"

What my husband's ears have perked up, when I've announced:

How unfair is THAT, to get points for being the boinker, and nothing at all for being the boinkee?

What? Knock enough girls up and you're an "adept parent", but caring for a baby for two years leaves you nothing but "untrained"? The creator of this program HAS to be a man!

This is so funny. I love it. I know why they call it LDW. I haven't gotten anything much done since I started. I love the game and I love the forum. I've said a lot of the same things, just a couple different. I accidently dropped a man on a 17 year old.

"I'm sorry, Butch. Nan complained to everyone in the Village, and now there're shunning you, and it's all my fault."

"Oh yes you are! Don't tell me No."

"Five teenagers building a hut, and none of them want to work."

Bonnie

When I got home from work today:
What do you mean I only have "ONE" female left of child bearing years? Good lord she's a Dugger (family with 16 children in Arkansas).

I have given the people last names so i know who's related to who.

1: AAAAHHHHH INCEST INCEST!!!! XP
2: What Mika just hooked up with Hiji?!?
3: oh no they didn't!!
4: She will go study that cactus till she can't study no longer!!!
5: EEWWW!!!
6: It's like a soap opera!! Twins in crates, several lovers, and builders that hook up with scientists.
7: These people need some serious spiritual, medical and mental help,
8: Here is a partner for you(farmer) you(builder) and not you(scientist). *smooch* NOOOO!! why have you betrayed me??

Ohhh, sorry. I didn't mean for a 69-year-old to be nursing a baby.

When feeding anyone at the bin (usually several people when I check in after work)

NOOO you're ..sick..elderly .. injured you can't get pregnant
sorry you were not meant to have a baby now (this to several elderly women)
you were supposed to be studying that plant not having a baby!!!!!

LOL biddysaurus .. that almost happened to me when I got home the other day and found one "young" female available to help increase the population. My only other female was 65 ... forget about it; no more babies for her!

"Come back here! Don't you WANT to have a pretty little red-headed baby??"

"ok, no time for celebrating.... quit dancing and keep chiseling!"

"you people are kinky... why are there 4 of you coming out of the hut?!"

lol

You have done three loads of laundry in a row you cant have anymore.

You have been the hut 5 times have a baby already!

Will you stop looking at the ruins and built that hut.

If you are so worried about food then stop trying to push that rock.

dont get her pregnant I need her for research!

Exercising?! Exercising!? Exercising is NOT done while sitting on one's butt in the middle of the field! If you want to exercise, get your fanny in that ocean and fish!

Shoot. Maybe I knocked up too many, too soon, trying to make a master boinker. Now, it looks like one of you old farts is gonna have to die so I can get the baby that actually needs to be dropped in that lake.

Ninety of you, and not a single workaholic!?

What?! I've spent hours and hours training master builders, scientists, farmers and boinkers, and dropping them on butterflies, the boulder and that dratted plant, and in ten minutes flat, all four of the puzzles are solved by the golden child?! I'm SO done!

Okay bury the dead already geez laundry can wait!

haha boinkers... i like it...

here are some of my favorites...

pushing the boulder is useless...
we dont need berries, we need tech points...
what boy dislikes drums and jokes???......
AND MY FAVORITE...
you live on an island, why do you have to do laundry, it's not like it's going to make you smell any better.....


haha, alle

I've started another game and have a new vocabulary.
Where is that doctor?
Where'd she go now?
Where is that doctor???
That's it! You're pregnant.

Stop foraging you moron and get to the bleeping research table.

While surfing the net: Why can't I move this page around by pinching the screen and moving the mouse around? Oh yeah, it's because I'm not playing VV. I need to check on my little peoples.

Oh golden child,how in the heck do I kill you!?!?

I left for a day ( I really do work..lol) with one breeder man and he knocked up the whole village!!!

NO i dont want food i have over 100,000 (i really do)now go do somthing useful! LOL

rain dacing,whats the point of rain dancing if it dosnt rain now go push that boulder!!!

57 children?!57 children!?

Ah come on lady, just drop the kid already!

What's so darn special about that cactus!? It's just a cactus.

What do you mean "No"? Get back to work.

You little weakling, you can't push that boulder. Quit trying.

Hurry kids! There's a mushroom!

That hut's not going to build itself.

Mmmm, steak.

Don't make me... :shakes fist at computer screen:

Okay, I've had enough of you people for one night.

one of mine is

"HOW HARD IS IT TO PICK CARROT AND BERRIES I'VE BEEN SHOWING YOU HOW FOR THE PAST HOUR"

My roommates laugh at me because of what I say when I play this game, some of them are:

"Where are you going with that fish?"
"Go Fishing! Everyone else is doing it!"
"What happened to my builders? DEAD?! When did that happen?!"
"Who's watching that d*** field?"
"When did you grown up?"
"Don't insult me by doing laundry!"
"If I knew how to kill you, I would, that's how much I hate you!"
"I spared you from being pregnant with that ugo and this is how you repay me?!"
"Fertility tech, my @$$!" (after I tried for 10 minutes to get SOMEONE pregnant!)
"Go ahead, push the boulder, I won't let you eat for a week! and no more love hut for you!"

57 children ... thought I was going to faint when I had 25!

It took you long enough... But because you had triplets I'll forgive you just this once. Next time, watch out!

I would just like to know, what exactly do you have to complain about??

You've got 193174 in food, a good school, 89 other people to share the work, what the HECK do you have to complain about??? Fine, in the ocean w/ you!!!!!!!!! Maybe that'll cool you off a bit....

Have you ever watched the children bum rush the school.... I was kinda scared the first time I saw it... Especially when you have a TON of kids

Hey, he's a nice Master DOCTOR for heaven's sake. Stop running away!

Harvest darn it!!!!

My latest frustration. A master scientist can't learn to harvest crops. Now I remember why I kept her knocked up all the time. And it took her forever to even figure that out.

"Where do you think you're goin, you're a builder not a farmer." (said while the the heavenly hand comes and plucks the offender and stickin them back where they're supposed to be)

"Get back here and eat so you don't die on me, I have more work for you still."(said while playing on hard and tryin to keep the village alive with very little food and waitin for the crops to come in)

Oh so help me God if you were a chick you'd be pregnant now you worthless slacker. This said to a guy that was unable to learn anything except how to sit on his tush under a tree.

-Would you get back to *insert action here* you little son of a BLEEEEP!
- KNOCK HER UP ALREADY!
- (a little while later) You floozy! Stop gettin knocked up already!
My roommate laughs at me all the time because I'm always yellin at the screen. The first time he heard me say knock her up already he was like "What the?!" I had to explain. LOL

"Come on, turn 18 already, I need more babies" (said to my 3 17 females)

Isn't there any other kind of fish?
Just how many ways can you eat carrotts, turnups, and fish?
Stop peein in the flowers ya little brats!
More Laundry?

My hubby thinks I am loosing it cause I am always talking to my "little people"!

I have also heard myself saying don't die please don't die.

"when did that guy die?"
"why won't you be a doctor?"
"come on little guy, i need multiple births and i need them now!!"
"you little buggers need to start finding the mushrooms on your own!"

i also talk constantly about it to my mom. i'm sure she's ready to snap my neck

"Come on, leave him alone, I need him to research, I need you to research.... and I don't need you nursing forever"

One of my favorites is when the parents always go after the eldest person of the entire village and the elder stands there..i always say "give me a break..me? you have to be kidding" and run like crazy...lol
i have had to "cool" a few off in the ocean to get them to quit...lol..of course who am i to choose for them...i am the one talking to the screen...lol

"how come only KIDS need to pee? Do villagers lose their ability to pee after they turn 14?"

I'm thinking they pee elsewhere.... like in the ocean or pond..... ewwwwwwww

1 - "If children can't swim why don't you drown when I drop you in the ocean/lagoon?" The answer appears to be that children can walk on water or repel it. Must make washing hard... the obsession with laundry amongst the men ALMOST makes sense now......
2 -"You're "supposed" to be a master scientist -haven't you realised that if the boulder didn't move the first sixty billion times you pushed it, it ain't gonna move now."
3- "How come "honouring the dead" in your new sacred space of the cemetary looks like dancing?"
4- "Stop doing the ******* laundry! He just did it!"
5- "Stop doing the ******* laundry and have whoopee. This village needs kids!" There were no children and no-one wanted to breed in the beginning.
6- "When the **** did that happen?" After I left the game for 5 minutes to get a drink and come back to find all the women nursing.
7- "I hope you guys don't suffer from inbreeding!" After 6 when I realise only one man, Akan, has any breeding skill and he has 3 adult daughters who now have babies.
8 - "Research now. Drink later - it's not like you'll die in the next five minutes."
9 - "YOU CAN'T WALK THROUGH WALLS/ROCKS/PEOPLE/THINGS!" One of the children seems to believe that the fastest way to get somewhere is a straight line and can not seem to grasp that you need to go around obstacles.

"You have 2 choices lady, research or breed .. your choice. NOW GET BACK TO THAT TABLE!!"

Some of these are funny and things that I have thought as well. I didn't read every one so I don't know if anyone else has thought this or not. But, "some of these people are just to ugly to breed together."

LOL, just what I've been saying about women. I have a population of 13, 2 are babies so I don't know if they are male or female yet. I have two adult females and all the rest are boys!!!

I just thought 'C'mon, put the child down, it says nursing for 0 minutes.'
I want to see if I've finally got a girl, or if the mum is going to have to go back to the shed and try again!

• "Oh, not again, you elderly little minx..."
  
• "Okay, let's do the math again. There's two of you, and seven of them. So stop watering the dead flowers and get over to the shack..."
  
• "Oops. No kids means no mushrooms for dinner tonight...."

"That boulder is weighted several tons, and you're 68! Quit trying to push that boulder and get back to work, woman!"

'If this was a more civilised society that would be malpractice' (as the doctor not only heals a sick villager, but seemingly gives her a baby.)

'I know that villager is dead. I'm trying to bury him, not get him up the duff'!

"Your too old to fix a hut dear! How about some food and a swim in the lagoon? Then you can prop yourself back at the dern table and GET ME SOME MORE POINTS!"

"Ok guys, I'll make ya a deal...5,000 more points and we'll all go swimming in the lagoon!"

"OMG, someone is dead. Where's that little Imp?" (I hold him in my "hand" while they carry the bones to the graveyard - if he throws a party before they get there they will drop my dearly departed and run off to dance! ggrrr)

"Your bored and worried about food and housing... you must be a teenager!"

"NOOOOOOO! Now look you got yourself knocked up AGAIN! Your 2 clicks from being a Master Doctor!" (I have one village with 58 Master Doctors...I'm obsessed, what can I say? )

I don't think so!
Get your tushy back here!
as my hand comes down and drags them back to where I want them.

Terri! Congrats on your story being posted! That is a wonderful story, and can't wait to read "the rest of the story." Link here if anyone missed it.

That is nuts, congrats on getting it posted, its a crazy but cool little story. I think everyone in some regards runs little stories in their heads while they play but to write it down and narrate a tribes history is pretty neat i must admit. Good job, its funny and i bet the creators agree at the things people do when they enjoy something. They were probably more than happy to post your story. I know if i created a game and someone wrote a story about it, i would be tickled. Again congrats...time to get off work!

"Oh, nuts. You're knocked up AGAIN? You just weaned a baby two minutes ago!"

Oh My God! She is having a baby at that age!
What if she dies before the baby is 2?

If a nursing mother dies, you will lose both villagers.

OMG I came here first time 3AM a few nights ago and laughed myself so silly I couldn't even join or write. I thought wow, I have found my people, all crazy too. I mean, besides all those little virtual ones I've "tended to" for weeks even in my sleep. Can't even wake up to pee without checking on them and attending funerals and orgies LOL. Or did I dream that too? My pc is next to the bed of course. Just in and out of reality too much lately. The line gets thinner huh?

Who was it above made me ROFL re trying to surf by trying to grab web pages to move them? You too? YES and can't find the scroll dial or arrow keys now on email either. Not that I have mail, haven't had time to reply to any. Tried to pry myself away to catch up on the weeks of game-induced slothe in my apartment and couldn't stop clutching my remote mouse imagining I had grabbed dishes and dropped them in the sink, and boxes by the door dropping them in the storage closet. Then it hit me - I thought OMG I have to get up and do that myself!! No! No!! uh uh. I feel so powerless without mouse in hand, I'm ruined. Hand was so paralyzed after 3 typhoons planting crops to harvest again it was welded to the dead mouse. Battery died then after 16 hours of it not resting in the cradle to recharge. So totally helpless just watching 22 more nursing moms pop up onscreen and unattended deceased. Was there a life before VV? Will I have one afterward or just the hereafter? I'll be 70 in 2 weeks. I think. Or is that 2 hours? Time flies when having fun YIKES!!

Started making a list of things I've said too but couldn't even stop that, way too long to post here, but maybe I can copy paste some at a time. Thanks all for the hilarity and for validating my insanity is "normal", well, here anyway.

btw one of my favs here was about the old lover "but he's got personality" LMAO, yep, someone I knew.

Okay, here's some of mine.

Why are you going to the cemetary to complain? Nobody's going to HEAR you.

Who coughed? You're a Master Doctor go find them. Hmmm guess it was ME then. Come heal my hand and shoulder from dragging all the clueless around.
One more typoon and I need a wrist brace Doc.

Three typhoons and THIS is the thanks I get. More babies to feed and carpal tunnel.

All those tech points I wasted, I buy you the best of science technology and you STILL can't make a fire??

I TOLD you not to eat that last crate of steaks. Did you listen?? 4 sick, 1 dead eating raw meat.Stoopid Barbarians!!

I'm SORRY you just like the dark, pray in the temple for a crate of sunscreen, I can't help you. You like water?? kerplunk!!

I know, I know, what's a gift of 2000 tech points for just to waste now? We already bought out the company store. Can't eat them can we now? We need birth control not points!

You are a Master Farmer and Master Doctor and you are picking berries for 2 points in a famine?? DO THE MATH !

I got 14 Master Farmers hauling in 12 crabs at a time and you pick berries? Vegetarian?? Go pull turnips you turnipseed twerp. Plunk.

NO? Uh uh?? fish and crabs are NOT animal abuse. Kerplunk SPLASH!

You like bees?? We don't got no bees. Yet. Is that an omen?

Yeh we could use a bee hive for honey, but better check your friends about stings and allergies first. Well, just a courtesy.

Laundry again? I don't see anyone running around neked. We got a seamstress job I don't know about?

Diapers yes, but where's all these baby clothes coming from? Some crate you didn't ask if I should open?

What's with the carrying water to the crops again? Didn't you see all the raindancers?? Go fish!! Kerplunk.

Old lady there, who are you telling stories to all alone? They've already heard them 20 times already. NO NO DANCING at your age or it will be your last dance. See? todja, dust to dust.

Anybody know who just died? I don't. Ole Mister Bill will be next slow as he's walking, don't need a crystal ball for that.

Oh sorry little girl, didn't see that mob coming when you found the mushroom. Where did you go? Splat? Oh, you came out the bottom and made it to the bin. Kudos. You should go far in life (if you EVER grow up)

Warned you I can't stop writing. Oh! I've held it all inside me too long Doc. I just chose to totally ignore those little ingrates. Maybe I'll start over on a deserted island and know what I'm doing next round. Or wait it out for VV2. I took each one by the hand to honor the temple AND the idol. Now their loyalty is to HIM, I've been usurped. Who am I trying to kid? I want my village back!!

90 pop reached and back to 56?? I feel an orgy coming on. I said See ya in 2 hours MY TIME. No, make that about 7 hours when I can put them to work, these preschoolers are getting on my nerves and I NEED REST TOO dang it. I'm only superhuman.

Sorry Mr. Bill, no classes in geriatrics in that med school. Natural causes don't require housecalls anymore I guess. If you can't make it to open ground for help, well, docs are all out partying anyway, may GC rest your soul.

Yes, we KNOW that building can be converted. Can't you tell it was?? How about a nursing home for the aged instead of a school? Kids ignore it anyway.

Births in batches of 20 again? You never heard of Planned Parenthood? Space them out every 2 years for crissakes, I can't even catch the rascals fast enough to name and train.

OK, whose belly button didn't get turned off? I don't recall any apprentice breeders born.

Little girl, quit twirling so fast like that, you make me dizzy. You're going to grow up twisted and can't work. You too little boy. You get stuck I don't know how to unscrew you. You want to drill holes in sand I'll drop you offshore. Yeah, how'd you like to work for Kerr-McGee in Iraq WHEN YOU'RE 14? STOP IT!! .

Can't you builders read?? It SAYS this hut is in good repair. See? Master inspector says it's ok. Stop that hammering. If it works don't fix it!!

Ok, here comes another opinion, I want a third estimate on that hut. Oh fine, now the Master Building Inspector has his hammer going too. What a racket, don't bill ME for YOUR SCAMS just cuz I'm a senior lady. Crooks, all in on it together eh? KERPLUNK KERPLUNK KERPLUNK SPLASH. And don't get those tools rusty I worked so hard to provide.
Fish da**it FISH. Okay, hit the crabs with your useless hammers. Whatever.

Didn't they teach you to READ in med school? She's sick YOU QUACK. Too hungry to think about that. I'll cool you off Kerplunk!!.

OK whose lap are you sitting on now at the lagoon? Move! I want to see who that cheater is under you. Didn't think I'd notice that did you? I'M NOT THAT STUPID or old to remember. No more babies til I say so!!

See what happens with your stupid group breeding? Mass no name burials. When it's your time to go everybody goes.
Any of you builders got a backhoe for a group plot?

Hey how about that cave for a sepulcher? Well YOU work it out. Eat another cactus.Yeh I'm on to those little cactus thingies, wasnt born yesterday.

Do I have to train more metaphysicians to roll away that stone? I haven't got til Easter ya know. Thats ME coughing.

Who's the idiot scientist and builder put that garden by the salt water and not by the well? Watering the dead to sprout back?? I don't think so.

In Memory of Red Headed Maureen, Master Farmer. I told her not to hobble to that last dance at 76. By the time she got there all the party goers had left and she danced alone. She opted then to go fishing one more time alone. Way to go Maureen, doing what you love the most. I must remember that if I ever quit this insanity. Like I keep going back to the tribe and I'm only a block from the real ocean here myself. Hmmm. Is that a message?

Oh well, what's the point of working anymore with free food and orgies. We've degenerated full circle into a totally agrarian society now after all that learning. No need for builders anymore either. Just eat,, drink and be merry for tomorrow you may ALL go kerplunk, if anyone survived the last dance stampede. I'm outta here.

puzzledone, absolutely hilarious!!!

We've got a whole field of crops to harvest and you're (farmer) over there doing laundry?

That guy never works.

Alright then, you're going on the research table if you don't want to be a builder.

How are you fishing when you're supposed to be a scientist?

I have to admit that I find the Golden Child annoying. So in one of my Villages he is called Khan - just so I can sream "KHAN!!" at him a la Captain Kirk.

Yes I am that sad

"Stop doing the farking laundry!!!! I can't believe I'm saying that to a guy."

:P

hes an ugly guy isnt he?? so get bck to that table or you will give him a chance MUAHAHAHAHA

OHHH you wanna do it your own????
Im leaving for two hours and I WANNA SEE BABIES WHEN IM BACK!!!!

"Ok, you've been 17 long enough now. Grow up! Make babies!!"
"What's this? Only one baby?! You better get back in there and try harder!!"
"I'm looking at the tech points... and I'm not happy..."
"If you throw one more party, the next one will be at your funeral!! "
"What, you're gonna let her run off just like that? Go after her fool!"
"Oh come on, he's not THAT bad to look at?"
"You know... crops come without watering them to... why don't you just ehm... FISH !!"
"That boulder is 20 times your size, what on earth makes you think you can move it only an inch??"
"You can try to run all you want, I'll just throw you right back to that table missy"
"Allright 'Wonderboy', if you're so smart why don't you just work on human evolution... Instead of partying all the time!!"

Those where the ones I could think of anyway

Why don't they just build a laundry mat and get it over with? Apparently domestic work is their preferred skill.

I normanly say:
"i hate school so how come you are desperate to get there!?"
"if you keep having parties on the dead people their souls will come back and haunt you!"
"i am just glad that the kids don't demand pocket money!"
"this is personal hygeine gone mad! they wash their clothes but don't take baths?!?!"
"you are 6 years old and you are "waiting for someone!?!?" who????"
"if the kids go to the loo in the dead flowers, then where do the adults go to the loo???"
"look kid! you do NOT need a degree in mushroom picking, to know how to pick one"
"oh no he is high on mushrooms again!"
"i am just glad that the GC hasn't heard of "kareoke night" or a "Dance Mat""
"can't u tell the differnce between the research table and a boulder?!"
*sees a guy dancing* "please don't, you look weird enough already!!!"
"look dude you r a "builder" not a "wonder-around-and-do-what-ever-you-feel-like-er"!!!"

Have You notice how there is a school but no teachers?? the kids probly spend all day playing hangman on the white board cuz there is no teacher there!! hehehe.

Btw i have a villager that loves the ocean but HATES swimming! how on earth does that work?!

my motto for V.V is: "if you old enough to walk, you are old enough to Work!".

Actually, there is a villager action of "teaching", but I've only seen them teach in front of the school once in maybe 25 times. Sometimes it's over by the rose/herb thing, sometimes in between the berry bush and the lagoon. Weird, I agree, so I'm usually saying at that point, "No wonder none of you are smart, you're being taught by Idowu, the idiot who can't figure out how to fish", or "Hey, teach the kids, not these other morons! Then maybe one generation will actually accomplish something...!"

MAYBE the reason the adults are OCD about laundry is because as kids, they had to relieve themselves in the "strange, dead flowers" and no one would let them change their clothes? Poor, wayward youth of Isola.

Hmm.... how many have I said, my sister and i are totally in love wioth this game, she says nothing, but shes further in with more puzzles solves and stuff, i have the first 4 5 done, but i say soo many things its not funny

such as:

-"U r a researcher, i made you clear the blockage and Now you go fishing like i asked you 2 do about 7 seconds ago? NOT GOOD ENOUGH!"

-"Look, woman, uve had it with the same man over and over again, and outa the 14 billions kids youve had, none of them are girls OR the GC, what are you woman!!??"

-"What the $@%! ? You muct be blind, or else your carrying f***ing good water FROM the laggon" (after my villigers finally cleared the blockage and one of my people was carrying a rock while trying to clear the blockage)

-My sig says it all, lol

bob......great wat bout fred? lol

I have a couple of new kids who "love to play"...instead of work. Put them on the research table 2 hours ago, come back on and they are still trainees!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrr.!!
"Gonna slap you if you don't start carrying your weight!"
" You just did your laundry...get back here!"

"Hey, you!! This is not a peep show!!!!" In response to the occasional builder "fixing" the love shack!

Get back to work or ill force you to mate with the bald guy!

STOP SITTING ON THE DEAD PEOPLE WITH YOUR NURSING CHILD, EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

hey! you do not water the field with THAT

an observation made by one of my (adopted) kids after watching me play (also after "accidenally" killing all 17 of my villager in the first game)

He pointed at the screen and said "I think that lady is a hooker."

Apparently my pop was maxed out but I still had one female set to Breeding instead of Farming, so she kept trying.

Then I explained breeding in the game to him. When he heard that "going indoors" made you a better parent, he declared that his real mom must be the best mom in the world. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Wow. That's one of those things you'll still remember when the kid is in his 30s. But dont miss out on the opportunity to embarass him as a teen with that story. That is too much, I see what you mean about not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

wow that brought back memorys of my own kids doing stuff like that.

OMG did she just walk on water HUNNY SHE JUST WALKED ON WATER!!!!! I drive my boyfriend nuts cause every time I get a new baby i take them over by the lagoon n drop them off on the other side just to see them walk on water...heehee

Most of the time I say things like:
"Hey you! Master Scientists don't fish!"
"Quit doing the laundry and get to work!"
"If you worked as hard as you did doing the laundry, then you would have finished building this hut 100 years ago!!!"

More of a thought: Murphy's Law of Virtual Villagers - A mushroom will always spring up at the point furthest from your only kid.

"I've dropped him on you 17 times already....breed! Oh wait, we need another hut...my bad".

LOL Mudgie -- been there done that !!!

If one of my villagers don't wanna work on a certain skill
"So you refuse to do it? Well lets just see what happens when you get hungry or sick! If I see you goin to that food bin or the well I'm pulling you away from it AND when you get sick you are as good as dead!!"

If one of my villagers won't breed
"Oh don't you run away from him/her you ARE gonna have a baby rather you like it or NOT"

I think I get alittle to involved in this game, sad isn't it? roflol

I swear to GOD if you tell me "NO" one more time, I'm going to get one of the builders hammers and crack you in the head!

1) Don't shake your head at me and tell me no! Do it!!
2) Quit worrying about the food and do some research... It takes long enough without you goofin around.
3) I wish someone would build those kids a darn outhouse
4) I could build that hut faster than you!
5) Researching takes to darn long...
6) You just ate... get back to researching!
7) Haven't you mastered that yet?
8) Why can't there just BE a field of mushrooms... It'll keep the kids from peeing on the lawn.
9) When are you kids going to grow up and be useful?
10) You did NOT just walk by that mushroom and not pick it up?!?
11) You did NOT just go from 6000 points needed to 50000???? How will I ever survive? LOL

"Don't tell me no! I don't care if you are sick, there's no one here to heal you, so you have to harvest to eat!"

"Ok, if you won't learn to harvest the crops, then it's to the remedial berry bush for you!"

What I only have 66 villagers left? Ok whos not getting it on?

EW YOU'RE GROSS GET OFF OF HER!!!!!
Yelled it and got a funny look from the boyfriend....roflol

Wow she didn't look 14

Why are you throwing a party, there's not food left!!!

"look dude, why don't you just invent a lunchbox? then you don't have to keep going to the food bin?!?!?!"

"look kid u have been 6 years old 4ever, hurry and grow up!! only the GC can stay a kid 4ever!"

STOP staring at me and do your work

To Master Scientist: NO ONE asked you to forage!!! Get back there!

With the new Thanksgiving mod: "How come come it takes 10 of you all at once to keep five tepees in repair?" I had just finished all the tasks and reasched all the levels so had a surplus of builders, who were all clustered around "fixing hut".

There are only a few tasks for the villagers once the game is at it's max - harvesting, fishing, fixing huts, laundry, burying the dead, breeding, healing, etc. All the scientists fill in wherever. Therefore, the villagers really don't need me anymore...there is nothing more to accomplish...thus waiting for VV2 - but the Thanksgiving mod is fun! Right now, I have a game that has been going for a couple weeks and about 50% are "elderly" and when breeding, the baby is born BEFORE they get into the teepee...too funny!

I was having a hissy fit this afternoon and ended up yelling "Get away from that woman. She is too [dern] old for you. She is old enough to be your grandmother. In fact, I'm pretty [derned] sure she IS your grandmother!!!!!!!"

Alright you lot, I've sussed you out now - where have you hidden the microphones ?? Is it attached to the programme Carla, is that why they can all hear what I'm saying ??

My thoughts exactly Anji
Just how do we all hear each other?
Mind you it could be that we are all soooo addicted to VV that we all get mad at the same things
If my scientist dares to farage AGAIN I will though him in the ocean (still not cleaned the beach) just to see him run away from it!!

LOL !!Mine should all be drowned by now !!

Look you lot - will you stop watering those blasted crops its quite futile. Now for once will you listen, I didn't get to be a Goddess without learning a thing or two y'know *$^&%$ CEASE, DESIST, PACK IT IN !!

In my *No-Fishing* Village......

GRRRRRRR you little BRAT (referring to GC), will you quit making parties and RESTORE CROPS AND BERRIES!!!!!! Y'all are gonna starve to death!!!!!!!!

Wife says time for bed, I reply with " hang on,let me knock up a farmer and construction worker first" .
and i had twin runners I set as parents (trying to breed a village of runners)and my wife was on the phone with her mom while i was hollerin " they're sc***in the d*#$ elderly scientist to death, he's weak and they won't let him eat. anything"

Will you quit moking around and breed!

We dont NEED you to research, YOU NEED TO FARM YOUR RUNNING OUTTA FOOD AND WHAT DO U DO ABOUT IT?? YOU EAT IT:(!!!

I WANT TO SEE YOU ON ONE PICKING CROPS OR FISHING OR FORAGING!!!

ummm YOU HERE COME AND SHOW THIS THIS CHILD TO PICK A MUSHROOM!! I KNOW YOU DID IT WHEN YOU WERE 2!! BECAUSE I SHOWED YOU!!

After a typhoon washed away my food I remember saying "If you're so worried about food, get your little virtual self in the water and fish!"

"Mushrooms are our friends!"

"'Nope' my a**!

Oh you were just waiting for her to turn 18 weren't you? Sicko!!!

#1 Do you HAVE to get her into that shack>Oh no you already did!

work... work ...work... work harder!!! your not on some luxury desert island you know... you need to survive... no dont just stand there work...!!!!! OH FINE!!! DO YOU WANT TO STARVE!!!!

fine i quit... im going for a beer... if your not working when im back ill just restart you all and get villagers that respect my authority.....
oh.. you still dont want to work!! well im just turning off now. (CREEP AWAY JUST INCASE THEY KNOW IM STILL WATCHING)

"You are a freaking master scientist, put the berries in the bowl and bring it to the food supply so you don't all starve to death. How hard is that?"

Quit acting like zombies, you don't have to party everytime the gc says! Quit dancing on the bones you fools!!

... yippie you got to master scientist because your an odd child and that saying something it saying you go to be a master scientist because your a WEIRDO KID!

oh no you dont get sick on my watch get better so my friends dont laugh at me for having another villager die and alll ive done for you i gave you the only spot in the village without a tombstome and you get sick and die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the beginning:
(my sig)"Is she really eating/dancing with/drinking the cactus?"
"What are you doing waaaay over with your baby?"
"WHY CAN'T THEY SEE THE EYES IN THE CAVE!"
ALL THE TIME:
"What is the point of all this, again?"
"These *@&# kids keep getting in the way!"
"Will you STOP telling him jokes/chatting/arguing,etc so he can WORK/TRAIN!"
"What is wrong with this kid/person, momma musta dropped you on your HEAD!"

How golden are you if it's been nearly 24 hours and you havent unblocked the cave yet you %*&@#?

yes my empire grow grow hey you didnt work i should feed you to the sharks wait i dont have sharks!

K, I've played the game 4-ever but am just getting online with the forums.

The one thing I can't get out of my head is the B-52's song Love Shack when I see people "going indoors"

Also my 8 year old son was yelling the other day "I want to make babies... why can't I make babies?"

A parent's nightmare!

Likes SAND??? Sand ??? Why in the *BLEEP*ing universe would people like sand??? What the *BLEEP* is there to LIKE about sand???? Cant't you like WORK or RUNNING or something USEFUL??? There are only three *BLEEPITY BLEEP BLEEP* people left on this *BLEEP*ing island! Get to WORK!!!!

Ok, maybe I wasn't quite that...vocal

********

I like sand - especially that nice beach sand that you can sink your toes into!

The one that mystifies me is liking ANTS! lol

Oh, that's typical. All the sudden the kid turns 14 and she is too good to pick up mushrooms!

That 2 year old is a bald man!
(while tapping the drum) Come to school children! Get out of my way!
(when the last of your original tribe dies) Awwww, that's sad.
Oh, you're worried about food...well, why don't you go pick some!!!
What do you mean nursing mothers can't do anything else?!? Women are multi-taskers!
Quit celebrating and get back to work!
Why is it that all my multiple births are the bald men?!
If you can't be a team player and research then we vote you off the island!

This has got to be one of the best threads. It amazes me not only how creative we are, but how riled up we get over a bunch of pixels. The thing that irks me the most is when I set them to a task to learn (mainly technology), and they dabble at it and then shake their heads.

Comment: "Don't shake your bloody head at me. You're smarter than that. Just do it!"

Another thing that also irritates me is, it is a major chore to get them interested in research. I plunk them at the research table time after time after time, and they stand in a row shaking their heads. But just check the breeding career and plunk them into someone's arms, and they are away for the rest of their pixellated lives.

Comment: "Sure, you like breeding, but can you research? Oh, no!"

Then I wonder if there is some way I can tempt them to do research by promising them a career in breeding if they get busy and discover things and so we can unlock the puzzles.

saw a child dancing close to a mushroom: Fool dont dance with it pick it up pick it up bozo!!! ....

"OH MY GOD!!!! I told you to STOP doing laundry, that's it...the Goddess' hand now PINCHES YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!" RFLMAO

Now where did you go you good for nothing **** ****?!?!?

the responce is usally
"I'm in the living room Babe"
(my poor husband)

I think I have said all of those too but here are some more:

1. What do you mean your doing nothing, didn't I just tell you to research?!!

2. Would you leave him alone he's 84 years old! (For some reason all my women in one village kept attacking the same man, at the same time time. He wouldn't even make it to the hut when another one was on him, I felt bad for the guy!)

3. Stop trying to to push that boulder and GET BACK TO WORK!!

4. If you tell me NO one more time...

There are a couple more, I could do this all day! My husband thinks I'm nuts, I'm constantly yelling at the computer!! LOL

"I NEED A MAN"

yelled just a little too loudly with a few too many ears around

*sigh* village is gonna die if an event does't bring me a boy soon...anyone got a spare man latying around the house?

"Stop watering the crops! I need tech points!"

"You're supposed to be caring for your baby, not doing nothing!"

"Stop celebrating and get back to work!"

"Stop making babies! We don't have enough food!"

"SHUT UP AND GET BACK TO WORK!!!"

"You have been a trainee for FORTY YEARS!!!"

"Oh, NOW you're adept."

"I wish you would've drowned in the lagoon, GC."

This thread has now convinced me that I'm not the only one who yells at their villagers!!!

I needed a lot of tech points to get the next level of science, but all my villagers suddenly got fixated on doing laundry instead of research. No matter WHAT I did with them they refused to do anything but laundry :(. I left them to it once to see what would happen and out of a population of 15 adults 9 of them were doing laundry! It's a very good thing I live on my own because some of the words I said to them were not ladylike at all!

I also got ones who just wanted to push the boulder or inspect the cactus all the time. I got so frustrated once that I ended up dropping all 10 of my adult villagers into the ocean and not letting them come out for at least three minutes of real time!

I'm also very glad I'm not the only one who accidentally breeds my villagers. I usually do that when I put them at the research table or unblocking the creek or restoring the ruins or somewhere else where lots of them need to be gathered together. I once ended up with four new nursing mothers that way!

"where do you think you're going?"
"oh no you don't, you do your job"

you know you play too much vv when...

i was sitting in my kitchen looking through old pictures when i realized something frightening. minus the ocean, the home i grew up in was set up very much like isola.

we had a small pond in the back left of the property, across from that I had a bush that produced berries (although i'm not entirely sure you want to eat them) and a cumquat tree that produced fruit, and in the right back corner of the yard was a patch where we grew flowers, and have indeed buried bodies (small animals).

the bedrooms were laid out in almost the same way the huts are -laundry room included (except we had 5 bedrooms, and no especial room for going indoors), the office was about where the school is. the research table and food bin would be the kitchen table and of course, the kitchen. and for some god forsaken reason we had this big statue of a half naked woman in almost the same place where the idol is (although i don't worship her). we had a little christian type alterish thing where the ruins are. the only thing we are really missing is the ocean. when it rained though, our neighboor across the street did flood pretty badly, and when cars drove down the road, we definitely got some wave action going.

i miss that house. it was big and sprawling. when we moved the only thing we kept was the half naked lady. d'oh. if i still lived there i could really really feel like i'm IN the game.

*sigh*

i have said all of those things and a few more aswell. My parents think im half mad and so do my friends hehe:

Get AWAY from that boulder!!!! it isnt going to move now wen u and the others have pushed it 1million times b4!

Ok, u hve seen the idol, now GET BACK 2 WORK!

Y r u doing laundry? u did it about 2 mins ago!!!!

U can enjoy the lagoon l8er, wen im asleep, 4 now, get researching!

Look! a mushroom! get it! no dont run away! hey u, (picking up the next nearest kid) get it quick no!(moulted in the sun)

Crazy i no, but @ least now i no im not the only one

When I have runners (or any VV) that get stuck somewhere and start to "twirl" madly, I find myself saying..."now pet, you're going to hurt yourself, I'm going to move you just a little bit"....my other half just laughs at me when I mutter to them occassionaly.

Best of Irish,
Maura

lol...that's so sweet my grandma calls me pet...so whenever I hear someone calling someone they love pet it makes my heart glow

I love to watch them flip out like that. It makes me wonder if they are growing catnip or something that makes them that hyper.

"oooh another mushie!!!!"

now keep in mind i have been playing the christmas mod, and the fact that i wasn't playing when i said this. i actually yelled this out in a department store, at which point i think people thought i had been eating mushrooms.

"you stupid son of a builder"

shouted at a character who kept trying to fix the huts when the villages food stores had been wiped out and i wanted everyone fishing

Are you sure you want to breed with him? He has no hair and a huge head! Is our island located near a nuclear power plant?

Said while holding down the mouse button and running the mouse back and forth very rapidly, causing the game screen to shake..."EARTHQUAKE!!!!! RUN!!!! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!"

Said to one of my builders who always seemed to want to *fix the hut* everytime a couple went inside to make a baby......"Get away from there, you pervert!"

hahaha that's really funny.
How about...
*sees everyone stop doing everything and freeze*
"NOOOO GC!!!! STOPPP!!!"

I was playing the game for the first time last night, and hadn't even got to the farming bit. My second child was born and he had a huge black afro and a five oclock shadow. My girlfriend and I nicknamed him Demonchild. I went to bed tired, not realising I should of got them to farming level.
I logged on next day to find them all dead except demonchild (who happily hummed like a bee when i picked him up). He killed em all during the night and was scoffing the last of the food.
Little bugger!

Hmm... let's see:

"AHHH!!!! BALD BABY!!!! HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S FORTY!!!"
About: well..a bald baby.

"Stupid mate-hungry savage!! Stop breeding and FORAGE!!!!!"
About a certain Kuruk who kept running after the girls.

"Don't you 'ooh' at me, lady!!! You will NOT be celebrating!!"
About scientists wanting to bury the dead.

"TWO MINUTES?!?! MY VILLAGERS ARE STARVING AND YOU WANT ME TO WAIT TWO MINUTES FOR FOOD!?!?! WHAT THE-!?!?"

"What are you doing?!?! HARVEST, YOU FOOL; HARVEST!"

"Speaking of baby Einstein...this kid's got gray hair! And he's balding!"

Go forth and multiply!

Do it!

Now!

Aw looking at your grandmothers grave again? Yes I miss your grandmother too. She was the best Scientist I ever had. She was the founder of the school you went to. She spent hours standing at that work bench. Whereas you can't stand there for more than 10 minutes without deciding that the answer is laundry.
Now get back to work you slacker!!!

another party! they having even finished leaving this one! the old folks haven't even gotten here yet! *incoherent babbling*

I had one male villager that had his parenting priveleges revoked..every time he was in charge of breeding, every eligible female ended up packing a child around. I finally said " Ok, you little redneck..no more fun for you." I fixed this by getting a more "mature male" to father the children and he was always being chased. However, he was more selective and only chose the 3 breeding females that I had predetermined.

OMG....What an ugly bunch of ppl!!!!

I said this after I started a new village and all the men were bald and the women looked freaky. I kinda feel bad for them 'cause I never gave them a chance, I just hit "start over". But their spirits must have got their revenge. The replacement tribe was stupid. None of them wanted to do research to gain tech and learn how to grow food. So they all starved to death. Funny thing is when I checked in and found them all dead, the tech was at 5678. If they had just gotten the picture and started researching a little sooner..... LOL

After reading some forum posts to pass time, two adept scientists that were supposedly researching walked out of the breeding hut...

"Oh you sly, sly people sleeping with each other behind my back."

My sister turned around from the TV and had a good long stare at me.

Edit: An hour later I check the research table and she's gone...

"GODD^%^^& WHERE'D YOU GO, BI*&$"

Things I have said
{breeding}
--->"Stop running you WILL breed!!"
--->"I do not want BALD babies you will NOT breed"

Scientists
--->"Why won't you work...PLEASE work!!"
--->"Dang it you have to research!!"

------ I often make the kids STAY in school ALL day so the GC can't have any [censored] parties-------

Kids
"your a teen now and you HAVE to pick a career I don't care that you don't like berries pick the dang things!!!!!"

There is a lot more but none are suitable language for this board
that's when I get the looks from the family like "What the heck is wrong with you mom"

Many times to researches sneaking away from the table:
Your bar is full, you don't need a drink!

To my husband whom I've named a villager (looks just like him!) after:

All those women won't leave you alone! I have to keep making them do other things.... why do they all want to breed with you?

He just looks at me like I'm nuts.

To the villager named after my husband:
No, stop waiting for someone and keep digging!

...All right, it's time for the "Honoring of the Dead Festival"...

It's my little homage to the Dias de los Muertos. I grab all the adults and throw them in the graveyard

I'm hoping that they get the hint that their ancestors stood at that stupid table for 15 hours a day (so far it hasn't worked).

I have an island with the worlds biggest group of slackers, I have said things to them that I dare not repeat in public. As a matter of fact I have said things to them that I believe I have never said out loud before in my life.

"you little $#%@%$ you really think you can go swimming with only 500 tech points! Get back to work!"

"Chisel @$#%@#!"

etc, I think you get the point.

Where do you add the word bloody?

After one of my villagers finnaly drops a kid:
ACK BALD KID WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU HAVING A BALD KID!

I've been thoroughly taken with this game now...

During a drive back home with my mom
[sharp inhale] HURRY MY VILLAGERS MIGHT BE DYING!!

Eating at a restaurant with my sister
[sharp inhale] I wonder if the researchers are doing their job.

At the mall with some family
[sharp inhale] OMIGOSH CAN'T YOU BUY STUFF FASTER I HAVE TO CHECK ON MY VILLAGERS!!!

During a class at school to another student
[sharp inhale] I hope none of my villagers died. What if they're dying RIGHT NOW? I have to go save them!

Proof that everyone knows I'm crazy about VV:

Mother: Hey, did you check on your village people today?
Sister: If what you're about to say is about your scientists, farmers, or anything of the like, just shut up right now.
Father: Can you eat your dinner or is someone in your little town dying again?

"STOP DOING THE LAUNDRY AND GET TO WORK!"
"WHY DO ALL OF YOU HAVE TO TRY AND PUSH THAT STUPID BOULDER? IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE!"

Who the heck are you embracing? HIM?!?! Hes UGLY why would you choose HIM!?!?

I have some of the ugliest people in my villages!

1. Omg! They just had a threesome. (after Sogan went into the luv hut with 2 women)
2. Stop trying to push that boulder! You are not even CLOSE to being the golden child you old b****. (when an elder female whose only skill was breeding had nothing better to do)

Who are you waiting for???!!!

I left you sitting overnight and yo still haven't made ANY progress on the treasure. Am I the ONLY one concerned?

Does it HAVE to take you 20 minutes to get there? (to an elder)

Stop worrying about food! You are a FARMER!!!!!

(When I accidently dropped a man on another man)
Gah thats a guy don`t do that with him!

I always take my fiance to and from work. 20 minutes after we got home one evening..."No more babymakin'! Get back to work!!!" To which he replied "But Baby, we just got home. You OK?"

Gah stop it with the berry bush and fish you could walk into the ocean and have the village set with food!
GAH STOP IT WITH THE BUSH!
FISH BEFORE THE VILLAGERS STARVE!

You're supposed to be a SCIENTIST, why are you rain dancing???

You are a doctor, heal the sick kids and leave the blessed laundry be, your stuck on an island why do you think you need a clean shirt right now, are they building a nightclub that I don't know about?

Humans do laundry, not villagers.

You look just like the birthgiver of the GC...

Why do you care more about the dead then the sick?

This event sounds as if coke makes you lose some skill (fizzy liquid)

Can't you builders at least try to fix the school?

Quit peeing, and do something!!!

You hate drums, huh?

There is more to life then a cactus.

Its back in the cave. Why do you think they are always trying to move the boulder? They are tryinh all sorts of secret passwords to get into the hyper exclusive club. The GC is the DJ.

All parties all the time, huh? You'd think the villagers would be "Weakened" by that instead of healed!

I just thought about this yesterday. I'll send someone into the bush to forage and they'll come out shaking their head and saying "no".

That's when I pick her up and saying, "Don't you tell me 'NO'", I toss her back into the bush! I've never talked to virtual people before but now I can say I have!

When my VV's were digging the treasure, it took the 2 days because of the GC! I found myself saying "QUIT THROWING PARTY'S GC BEFORE I GET REALLY MAD AND DROWN YOU! LOL!!

yeah the child is peeing in the gardenGC is the best peer in the garden

they are dirty take them a bath to dont laundry there

Go get some fish!! You have no food!! It doesn't take 90 people to bury one body!!

I have triplets all set to breeding. The first one kissed a guy. On the way to the love shack, the second one kissed him. They almost made it and the third one kissed him as well. So the guy and all three girls went in together.

"You people are sick"
"I bet you feel like some kind of stud muffin now, don't cha" (said to the guy)

What was real funny is while they were all in there, 3 or 4 builders suddenly felt the urge to "fix the hut" and were all working on the love shack together. I said a bunch of things to them, such as....
"Is that better than pay-per view?"
"Are you the film crew?"
"You are all a bunch of perverts. Go into the ocean and cool off for a bit"

before they go indoors pick her

see her actions so that you cant have accident

Post deleted by LadyCFII

so that the gc is in the cave the villagers killed him because the gc distract all the does of the villagers

lol i have thought i been goin crazy sayin things like that 2 my pc lol but yeah i have said no more eatin and stop chasin and get bk 2 work and wen u tell them 2 do somethin and they completely ignore u its like oh my god im in charge do as i ask its funny i have sat here laughin 2 myself coz im givin them rows and its not like they can hear me lol even my son looks at me daft but hey at least im laughin and havin fun wit it i really enjoyed playin it cant wait 4 vv2 oh and wen i finally moved the boulder nothin came out wat were the eyes doin there lol any1 can answer i would be grateful thanks

Welcome, welshgirl!

VV does end on a bit of a cliffhanger, doesn't it? I reckon it's all a crafty plot to make sure you spend more money and get VV2 when it comes out to see what happens next.

lol hey arnie yeah i agree but the best bit is they know we will buy it coz so many of us r enjoyin the 1st 1 im currently doin my 2nd game but on hard level so keepin myself busy till the second 1 comes out i cant wait 2 see wat happens in it lol the only thing is my pc keeps cuttin me off and everytime i get the error msg and i click dont send and i go bk 2 the game wateva i have just done has dissapeared like i got my gc 2 do the 3 things he can do but then i got cut off and now he wont move the boulder again lol its annoyin haha but still fun ty for replyin so swn

"shoot! Stupid people, can't even catcha fish. I QUIT! YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST IMPOSSIBLE TO WORK WITH!!!!!! First, you don't stop doing the laundry, and won't have a baby.Then you have a baby butyou won't getfood. Then you getfood but you won't build an idol dedicated to moi. WHAT IS WRONGWITH YOU!!!???" what can i say? i hve a TINY temper issue.

No time to pee my son, we got a mushroom to pick!!

Look here! <shakes GC violently> These people are wondering when their next meal will be, not when they're going to get their next party fix!

Said after a typhoon wiped out all the food and the GC throws a party just as I'd gotten the farmers to fish. -_-

(once a large group of kids turn 18) Go my children! Go forth and multiply!

hopefully they learned to multiply during all those school sessions...

ermm, or maybe not lol

Im new to the forums and have left a few messages so far, but I have 3 games going at the moment and my first one was deleted by accident, so total 4 games. I find myself yelling at the researchers to *eat and stop being all dedicated* Does anyone else find that if you dont acually move them over to the food bin they will wilt away to nothing, I got so tired of it that every day I have to switch farmers for researchers and turn my researchers to farmers so that they would eat. Its good for the skill ratings, but a pain on time. This is all untill you get the golden child and research seems to be all for nothing.

You don't normally need to force your villlagers to eat. They do it on their own, even if you don't see them. However, in some cases scientists or builders may attract injuries. Also, villagers might be weakened by disease. Usually they heal on their own but if their health bar is very low you can drag them to the food bin several times to help them heal. However, the majority do quite well on their own, thank you.

im always saying

"stick to the job i assigned you"

I haven't played for a very long time yet, but my most frequent quote is "get back there...get back there...get back there...where do you think you're going?

*me thinking out loud* "hmm, i think i have enough tech points to...HEY BALDY!! GET AWAY FROM THE CENTER OF THE VILLAGE!! ya little party freak..."

Lol, I said this one the other day.

Yes, my kids are taking tons of mushrooms.

Ive also found myself saying, *telling a joke? what kind of joke could you possably be telling? knock knock, whos there berry, berry who, berry boring on the research table!

i said this yesterday, KEEP BUILDING THE TEMPLE!!!!!!! NO ONE SAID YOU COULD TAKE A BREAK!!!!!!!!

I found myself uttering something entirely sacreligious (for the agricultural area I'm from).

"The crops will grow without water."

oh, and "normal people LIKE doing this" (breeding).

I said and i quote,"STOP MAKING PARTIES!!!!!!!!!!! HEY YOU!!!!!! STOP DANCING OR I WILL MAKE YOU LITTLE MISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL MAKE YOU GO TO SCHOOL EVERY MINUTE OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!"

To The Amazom Tribe: (6 women and no chocolate) "I NEED A MAN!" Now, down to one village, "Send a crate or barrel of male babies!"
To The Levi Tribe: "Hey! (to Abram) That's not your wife!"
To the Yudah Tribe; "Girl ( to Simha), if you don't go fishin's, I'll make you change diapers!"

OK so i have three games going at this point, and their all "finished" so i let them just run and check every night, i will start a new one soon, just waiting till i have some time, but anyways. SO its gotten to the point where i have so much food and all the puzzles are done, so they do their things, but builders are bored, and researchers just relax all day, so i set things up so all there is, is docs and farmers, and ive gotten in the habbit of drinking all the liquids and opening all the rotten crates, just so the docs can acually work, so the other day, 'Secko' found a vile with red liquid, i made her drink it, *suprised nothing happened to Secko, but when she returned to the villages everyone else was sick.* though ok cool docs have somthing to do, but then watched for a minute,, EVERYONE WAS WALKING BACKWARDS??? I let out a big what the.... and stared in amazment for about 5 min, it was weird.

Congratulations, Terina. You had a full village of Michael Jackson wannabes.

That happens alot to me, only I cant imagine a whole tribe of moon-walking villagers.

I got bored waiting for vv2 so i started a new tribe. Wich is just my second game. Now i realised how lucky i was to have such model citizens in the first game. They all did what i told them to do and more. When the food was going to finish they all would leave what they were doing and go fish. They wouldnt waist their time on laundry. I really can leave them alone for a week and when i go check them there r still 90 healthy people with a lot of food.
In this new game i started NOBODY does what i want them to do. They all just try to push the boulder (even after i told them a thousand times they got to wait for the golden child) and do laundry (i told them that u can also wear the same cloths 2 days in a row). So i find myself wondering in desperation if there is a way to start a trade. Maybe the second tribe can do the laundry for the first tribe and in return the first tribe would give food and an occasional doctors visit.

If you are gonna go swimming anyway, is it so hard to bring back some fish???!!!!

Hm, I think my favourite thing I've shouted out has been, "No! Don't throw a party! There's an epidemic in the tribe and my doctors need to be healing!"
And he also makes them dance on dead bodies. The GC is just plain rude :P

Has anyone ever gotten this event? I thought it was pretty cool. It said that there was a heat wave and all the villagers cant work until they cool off so all my villagers dive into the ocean and swim around for a bit. (and the kids too but they were shown foating over it). Has anyone else gotten this?

Yeah I'v had that event, I'v had it about 3 times, bubblysnuggly.

I have gotten that one as well bubblysnuggly, i think the werdest one i ever got was i had just started my third game, and my second event was a flock of parrots flew over and ate up all the berries, had to really struggle to get the tech points up cause we needed the garden right away, but i got it, just in time,

Gah no I needed that Master Farmer you pervert!

Most recently: Don't you dare, Jean-Luc! I need Chloe to build the temple, and she'll sit around for 2 years if you take her in there.

Is this whole village mentally handicapped? Can none of you learn? If you don't start picking those berries, I'm going to delete you and start over.

Wowee, triplets! Go, Harry, Go! No - not with her!

oh look!!! the elderly died, better start to burry them....hey!!!!!!!!!! stop making parties over the dead you rude kid!!!!!

OK even I dont do that much Laundry, you wear the same thing every day Get your butt back to work.

I know all my villlagers run and do laundry or pick the berrys and I let the berrys get bigger but when they do pick the berrys I say "take that" and I drop some one on them and they run LOL!!!

If you allow them to pick the bush clean, they wont go back, lol one meaningless task destroyed. Cause it takes so long for a normal picable ammount to grow back, it doesnt matter anymore. But I have run out of tribe slots on my game, and I dont want to delete them, grown so fond of my villagers.

no I have the GC ant I keep trying to make more berrys

Well yeah thats what I meant when i said *it doesnt matter anymore* cause at that point the gc makes berries and crops and all that, but then inturupts them, logic huh!

ya but I like to get it really high just in case my food runs out.

"Praising? Who are you praising? I am your goddess and I do not need you to praise me. I need you to get food. Now go fish."

Ok,I play weird.
I don't know why,but I put trainee/untrained farmers on the berry bush,give adepts the crop feild,and masters the fish.
I guess to get crabs?
So...
"No,I don't want you to fish.Go directly to the berry bush.Do not pass crops.Do not water the fields."

Hey-ya,

I just moved in, little hut down at the waterfront. Lovely!

I like this threat, I can emphasise. Not sure if my lovely boyfriend (lbf) can make much sense yet of my erate exclamations such as...:

How many villagers does it take to water a @$%&*£$ field?

I think they secretly had twins!!!! Twice!!

That Master Farmer is just a little TOO comfortable with the whole breeding thing. They just have to LOOK at him and are with child!! No more!!! *sends him researching* That'll keep him busy!

(btw: is anyone else trying to keep the, er... breeding, um, varied...?)

OF COURSE you're building a hut with the pieces of wood FURTHEST away from the building site. That's just like in real life. Nice work. Cup of tea while you wander across the beach?

Parrots?! PARROTS?!!??!?

Was that a kiss? Did she just kiss him???


Much looking forward to more antics!

bfn, Mue

Anything said in hysterics is the best.
"Why are you doing laundry? You're a Master Farmer and a plague of locusts have eaten the crops or something!"
or,
"There is a crazy disease sickening everyone, Doctor -- don't stop to tell a joke!"
And I can only imagine what sort of joke a Doctor would stop to tell during a situation like that.

This ones my favorite...very funny!!

Oh, tons of us are.

Gah grow crops grow grow!

No no no I need that young guy to train go get one of the old guys!

You DO get pregnant from kissing!!!! She just kissed him before "going indoors" and the population count went up to 12!!!

HA!

bfn, Mue

i second that! ozzie ozzie ozzie, oi oi oi!!!!

i have said "wait...what...no stop that!!" possibly more swearing, and in different orders...i also talk to my family about when someone has died :P

Oddly enough one day I was talking at the screen "Finally a new hut now we can commence with the making of the love" my husband thought I was talking to him. Also thought I was talking to him when I told screen to "Leave the food alone already you fat pig"

Goddessjuno

HAHAHA!! i just about fell off of my chair laughing at that, goddessjuno!

why are you drowning the baby..oh you are washing him/her...lmao...is it just me or does it seem like all the moms are doing this...lol...and how many dirty diapers can one child make...mine changes this particular baby everytime i look

I have said: During VV3

Get off your lazy rump and start working, especially for the ones who are really lazy.

One of my children asked if they were committing suicide when they jumped from the ledge because I was working them too hard. I just started laughing and couldn't stop. She is 10 years old.

I have also said you can eat when you're finished your job. And:
You don't need to eat you look perfectly well to me.

Sometimes when you say something to them they just look at you then say "why are you looking at me like that".

Sometimes it gets a little eery but fun.

BTW Goddessjuno,

Your comments take the Golden Child Prize Award.

It sounds like you're playing the new Virtual Villagers game. Maybe these comments would be better put in that forum, so as to not confuse people who are playing VV1.

I just started building the temple, and I noticed that all the kids still go and stand in the middle of the temple. I want to put up a sign saying "Resricted: Hard Hat Required".

1. from the Science-Table Human Resources after a gagillion tests : you're really not cut out for science are you... fine!! just go do whatever you want then!

2. Alright! From now on, it's Technocratic totalitarianism! Allocate all manpower to the Science-Table... and no time for laundry (what is laundry for anyway??)

(thos tech points sure take a long time...)

"Wait I was only checking the forums for 5 min, how did you 7 women finish nursing and get other babies?!!! You all had at least 30 min to go!!!!"

Get BACK TO THAT BUILDING!!!!

GET BACK TO THAT HERB!!!! GRRRRR how are you ever gonna become a master doctor if you dont get your lazy butt out of the pond!

1. So what if your 14! You can't pick a mushroom?
2. We are having proper funeral for Safari and your coming whether you like it or not!!
3. Why do you need to fix the hut?? It just got built!
4. What kind of name is Tuna for a girl?????
5. Come on he isn't scary or anything!
6. Come on!!! I want a bigger population!
7. We don't need anymore fish grrr. Here if you want to go in the water so much then go in the pond!
8. Get back here we need more mushrooms. Great now it dissapeared!!!

"Oh I knoooow you didn't just say "NO" to me!!!"

"You have got to be dumber than a brick"

where IS that bald guy?? I need to have twins!

Hehe - fun!

"You're worried about food? Well so am I and the sooner you get back to researching the sooner we'll have food and you can stop worrying about it!"

"Why don't they just kill the birds and eat them?"

"Oh you did not just drop that rare pebble..I put you on that pebble, you collected that pebble and now it's gone - What did you do with the little rare pink pebble!!!!"

"Child! To the Mushroom of redness!"

(said after putting an untrained person on the research table)
"come on, you can do it, wait, wheres the 'clink's? I DIDN'T HEAR ANY 'CLINK'S!!! AHH YOU INSOLENT IDIOT!!"

"A pebble, a beetle, an uncommon stone - where are one of those little brats when you need them!"

This really isn't the right forum for comments about the new VV game. There is a similar thread in that forum, and it would be better to post there.

EEEEEEEYWWWW! You just kissed your SISTER!

omg this happened a couple of secons ago. i was trying to train this lazy dude to be a doctor, and i dragged him onto another guy, and then i heard a kissing sound, so i said...
"wow. first, i don't make you do anything, then i make you do something and you try and make love to a sick guy?? thats not right, maaan..."

I tell them that if they need a drink so bad that they might as well go fish and I plop them in the ocean.

I'm sorry - I haven't seen this thread on VV2. My apologies.

No problem! We just don't want people to get confused and wonder why some of these things aren't in THEIR game. You can find the thread in the Lost Children forum here.

I think I have a new one:

Why are you looking at the ground?! I know you dont see treasure every day but its not that unusual!!!!

I know this is the wrong thread but has anyone else had this situation where near the treasure chest a villager starts to look for "something unusual on the ground" because I have watched them but after a while they stop and admire the treasure. Can anyone help me because I'm finding it really confusing!!!!

OMG! I just did that today!

OMG!!! Its SO true! Why can't the teenagers look different from the adults???

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Backstory: I named a villager "Hunee" due to her hair colour..well ever since she had her first child she is constantly "waiting" or "embracing".

She prefers the red-headed Master Builder but has been know to take upwards of 5 guys to the love hut with her. She will even wait in the doorway of the hut for men to run to her and "embrace" as many as show up.

She is fickle though so if the Master Builder shows up she ignores the other men and goes off with him into the hut.

I am constantly having to beat her to get another woman pregnant when a villager dies because if she doesn't already have a baby, she will get pregnant before the dead villager is picked up and buried!

She uses the Golden Child's parties as a way to embrace as many guys as she can while the parties are going on to take to the hut afterward.

It is slowing down now because she will wait...and the guys will kiss her and then run away...probably because she is 69 years old now.

What I always say while playing?

On hearing the kissing noise:

"Oh no Hunee, you ho!"

Because the kissing is ALWAYS Hunee.

All those quotes and stories are SO FUNNY!!!

I thought I was the only one saying/thinking it hehe.

It's my first time playing at the moment (well, if you don't count the first time when I didn't know and didn't pause it and went off after ten minutes of play and 6 villagers... and they were all dead when I logged on a week later!)

I play with the volume on and I am not patient enough so I don't wait for the couples to go into the hut, as I realised the population number just goes up as soon as the couple kiss if it has been successful, so I end up with loads of OH OH OH OH HEY OH HEY OH OH OH HEY OH OH OH and once I went "YESSSSS!!!" when she FINALLY got pregnant. (No one wanted to impregnate the blue haired lady!) But then my flat mate came in, looking worried, going, "What the **ll kinda p*rn are you looking at?!"

I've got the same problem of my researchers getting impregnated by these naughty virtual men. I mean, can't they devise something like just....well, [censored]?! Won't these virtual men be happy with just that, or is this more like real life than I thought?!!! haha

I like that one about the scientists. The docs are a big pain in an area too. They seem more interested in eating, lounging around and laundry than they do in learning their trade. I have been counting how many times I have to force the dang docs (any explictives on my part will be accurately used during this...lol) per plants to get them to master their dang trade. So far up to 35 per plant and then they seem to score nada real point value.
Oh yeah, they love to [censored] every chance they get once you get them to breed once. My first games the builders got to be masters due to constantly breeding on their own!!!

i say "what take the mushrooms so long,come on mushroom come on help a dieing village in need of food.

Last night, I realized my population was maxed, and I needed a nursing mom (because I'd given up trying to figure out the last few puzzles, and checked a spoiler board...and I NEVER would have thought to drop a woman-with-a-baby into the lagoon). Anyway, I'd made the mistake of getting to level 3 in Medicine - so the old geezers were REALLY lingering. I decided to deny sick villagers medical care by isolating them in the graveyard, "Honoring the Dead" - and making sure nobody healed them as they trudged back and forth from the garden. Unfortunately, I had to step away from the computer for just a minute, and when I came back, somebody was healing a villager I'd been working hard for over 2 hours to get to death's door. I plucked the overly-helpful twit up and said, "That's it! You get to Honor the Idol indefinitely!" The absurdity of it made me giggle...and Honoring the Idol became the automatic punishment for anyone who even thought about curing sick people. :P

"OMG thats like the 20th time in a row you've taken that guy into the hut! Are you that desperate for a child with him!?"

*this said after literally watching this same pair of villagers go in and out of the hut after every unsuccessful attempt at breeding*


Another is..
"What the hell?? I have kinlky villagers.. they're having a threesome?!"

*this said after watching three villagers who were 'going indoors' and I had NO idea where the fourth was. This has happened more than once*

I say "i don't care that you're thirsty, get back to work!" a lot

Just because you both tried to get her pregnant and she left doesn't mean you have to try to get each other pregnant!

I thought I was the only one saying stuff like this. I tell my builders and scientists when I am trying to earn points that if they leave thier station they are going to water the field. I can get my field done in no time doing that. I am so tired of the people going to "push the boulder". At first I thought it was something that would happen over the course of the game so I let them push the boulder. But when I found out that only the GC could remove it I get so angry at my people.

I agree "laundry" is the worst excuse for me. I can't abide them leaving their station to do laundry.

I sound like a dirty old man when I try to get them to mate. I say things like: "Come here girl", "Don't run", "Get it, get it BAM" that when they are successful.

That's enough I say even more than that so days.

Shouldn't you be knocked up by now?

Could you walk any slower? That wasn't a suggestion!

I've caught myself saying things my parents said to me.
"No dinner until your chores are done young woman!"
"Don't make me tell you twice to do something!"
"Don't tell me no again, or there will be heck to pay!"

Get pregnat Already!

I love this topic! I don't think I've ever laughed this hard in my life!!
Another thing I've said...
"What is the deal with all of the skunk headed kids?!?!?!?"
(Kids having black hair with the grey streak down the middle.)

NO! I said research not get pregnant!!!!!!!!!!

WHY DO ALL OF MY WOMEN GET PREGNANT EVERY TIME I BURY SOMEONE?!?!?!? ARE THEY TWISTED? ANOTHER VILLAGER JUST DIED!!!!!
I've only buried 5 villagers, but it seems like everytime I bury one, all of the women get pregnant! I had 6 nursing moms after the last one!

1. If you have this baby, I'll let you be a Master Scientist.
2. You forgot how to fish?
3. I waited the whole game for you, you rotten little Golden Child. Now go do something useful.
4. If you're worried about food, go pick some.

When food is low... "If you want to eat you will ALL fish - Into the water with you!! To each one... If you'd like to survive you WILL go fish!!"

"How did you get on the roof of my hut?!?" for one red headed child that appears to be standing on the corner of the roof

i ocassionally toss all of my villagers into the ocean and demand that they fish, if they get out without a fish, they get tossed back in

during these times i tend to end up cackling and yelling
"fish or drown" and laughing maniacally

"Oh come on, how stupid can you be?? Learn to fish already!!! Stop shaking your head and telling me no!!!"

I introduced my husband to the game (after much teasing from him on how much I talk to my "Village People"). Now he's started!!!
"Where are you, you lazy little sh*t?"
"Come over here and pick a mushroom you brat!"
"Pee later! I need that mushroom!"

And this is all in a span of 20 minutes... lol!

I woke up to find all the men dead. Now I have a village of 9 women. So, I had to tell the villagers, "Now we don't get any mushrooms. There are some things that men are good for, so why'd you let them die?!"

Now I suppose my game is lost since my villagers can't have babies without the men. Bummer, since I was just about to get the last thing needed for the golden child. Sigh.

There are Island Events that can save your village. To see one example, check out The Story of the Hard Tribe.

Interesting story. I'm hoping the story of my villagers will have a happy ending. But I think I will pause the game at night from now on. It's not much fun waking up to that many deaths.

I started a new player so that I can have a village with a lot of babies this time around. Now I'm wondering how quickly I can fill the village up to 90 villagers. There are enough babies in that one to get a lot of mushrooms.

These are funny, I know I have said this one about a hundred times myself!
"You Old HORNdog, If you take one more of my girls to that love shack, I will personally burn it down, now get back to work!"!

Good luck with your tribe! Let us know how it goes. We love those comeback stories.

"Alright GC!!! Throw a party! I'm not gonna let you enjoy it!!!"
All of this yelled while banging on the drum. lol!

Ok, this morning, while I'm chacking on my village, my daughter runs in to see whats wrong because I'm yelling. I named one of my villagers after my favorite original villager. I wanted to get her pregnant. She had triplets!!! It's only my second set, and the others are in their 60's. My daughter thinks I'm a nut.

lol, i've gotten excited about something like that before

luckily for me, no one was around to hear me lol

Do you ALWAYS need me to pick up that mushroom?

1. God, there are no virgins on this island!

2. What do you mean you don't want his baby? He's practically Brat Pitt! (when a female ran away from my blonde male, master scientist, master farmer, adept builder, adept healer)

3. You'd better stop nursing that baby now 'cause I need a mushroom picker.

oh god I'm LMFAO.

I think the thing I say most often is, I don't care if you don't want to (research/farm/heal) just DO IT!

I had one villager I had to grag to the vegi patch some 40+ times. I NEEDED FARMERS DANG IT!!!!!!!

And I also sympathise with those wanting females, cos all mine are having babies...all FIVE. (watch every last bleedin' one be a bloody man!)

And finally--who says sex is all kids think about these days??? I had to get my first villagers to...ah...'embrace' my females.

"I don't know which one of you just mm-mm'd me [as in shaking head] but you'd better stop that if you know what's good for you!"

My game's running in the background so all I hear is babies cooing and men mm-mm'ing I gotta see if there's a way to mute this bleedin thing.

LMAO, too true

I also have a roommate, and I have to play with the sound off sometimes because it sounds like something x-rated.

Quit making parties you stupid golden child. And start growing up! Last thing, QUIT CHASING BUTTERFLIES OR DANCING! EAT EAT EAT! EAT UNTIL YOU ARE GROWN UP!!!!

WHEN I GET BACK LATER YOU BETTER BE GROWN UP!!!!!

Can you please stop breeding and go fish?!

get me them tech points now!

Ew you little sikko, that's yer MOTHER yer going indoors with.

lol!!

I love to say this:
-After a while I looked on the other tribe then you killed all of the coconuts!
-Laundry is for nothing, get back to work!
-Oh no.... the GC made a party again. Now it makes noise and interrupts anyone (and GCs won't stop being party animals again. ~the end)

Been caught saying:

Ooooh no! if you ain't gonna fish, you ain't gonna eat.

Okay...sitting on your A**, picking your nose is not a skill

Aw man... someone beat you with an ugly stick, you ain't getting anyone pregnant.

Don't make me pick you up by your little ears.

I'm bigger and I can sit here all night long and drop your A** in the ocean.

LOL Omgoodness!

The other day I told one of my villagers to stop doing landury and get back to building. Grrr

OMG , But lord forgive me for my sin , Goddess , what a mean are you

My 9 year old daughter was sitting with me while I played and all of a sudden she says, "You know why the old people die, don't you? They can't pee." I guess they all have kidney problems! lol

lol!

LOL

Let's see... This is something I also use when I'm ticked off on roller coaster tycoon. "Fine! If you don't wanna work, you can drown for all I care! HAH! HOW DO YOU LIKE DEM APPLES!?"

Oh, there's also, "Stop being a pervert and get to work! I already have 90 villagers; NOTHING'S GONNA HAPPEN!!!"

"Now is not the time for relaxing, or exercizing...get to getting on that research!"

'Come on come on stop shaking your head at me'.

umm,no - you are going in the lagoon while i dump this idiot of a hubby in with the fishes! Hah! sleep with the fishies instead!!!

OH NO, UR another hard headed villager! and Obey Me!!!!

OH, GOD Daughter.......Didn't we already have that talk?

If I could charge half a dollar for laundry I would be Millionair!

Also, I say to my villagers when somebody die: "you see that squeleton, you will be the next if you don't stop that stupid laundry

OMG GC NEXT PARTY AND YOUR GOING INTO THE OCEAN FASTER THAN U CAN SAY COCONUT ( my Gc dislikes the ocean ) Ok stay calm.. wat!? another baby!? u need to be clearing that lagoon!!! ( said this early in the game ) OK MISTER RUNNER U NEED TO GO TO THE OCEAN AND FISH! NOT BUILD!!

they eat, play and get curious.

THEY DO ALL BUT WORK.
cmon

So, Now you want to study that cactus after I put you on farming?!?

LOL!! so true!!

Come on I AM THE MASTER YOU WILL OBAY ME.

Will you stop walking on my bones, I didn't ask to die out in the open

Oh a new _bug_ where is a kid, oh no your 14 already why you grow up so quick no kids! oh no next to 14 year old your 77 and I'm maxed out already, come on you had your time!!! I need kids.

You should really put things about VV2 in the related thread in the VV2 forum, to keep from confusing people who are playing VV1 (this is the VV1 forum). There aren't any bugs (beetles) in VV1.

1. Okay, Golden child, but I don't know how you get them all to go away from me. You've only been here 2 weeks, and I've been here 6 months! It's not fair. I know you can walk on water. What does it look like I do? When will you grow up? OH, you will alright, I know your kind. Like SUZU, he was obviously one of you, he has a bald head and there is none bald but the golden child. We were so excited we birthed you right after birth. Yeah, the shoes on the other foot, no shoes? Now who has to come to the party? And take the brunt of things? Where did all these 14 year old midgets come from, can they swim? OH NO!!I just remembered I quit that one in fear too. I don't think I ever found out if they could swim or not!

I can't do any thing about it now its past its sell by date can't edit my mystake sorry

GET ME FOOD!!!!!!!

I think it adds realism to the game for them to do laundry; what I don't understand is why they walk back in forth in front of the hut with it when they're done. Can't they find the door? They walk up and down in front of the hut like six or seven times before they go inside and put the laundry away. So I've said

"Is this how you dry laundry in Isoula -- walk around with it until it's dry? Get a clue, girl, drape it over a bush!"

I agree it's a little bit annoying!!

what the???

you just finished "going indoors" with her!

dont run to ur mom you momma's boy!!

or something might happen!

Ok here's some

"What!? Another party!? come on GC do you ever stop to pee?!"

"This is like your 20th kid woman! Stop and taking large deep breathes like i'm trying to do"

"This is about the tenth time i've put you in that lagoon now get that magic fishie!!!!!"

This is the post that gave me the idea to write the story, "The Guiding Hand Diaries."

what do you mean you don't know how to pick up some wood? , and i wish i had a cattle prod, and what is with all of this walking back and forth trying to do research

why can't that child see that mushroom, what is he or she bling?

"SHUKA!! Could you PLEASE, when you are running with a basket of crops, take care of where you are going!! Stop to bang the food bin and lose the crops!!!!"

I find my "Mother" instincts coming out "Don't shake your head at me, get back there and try again!"

i thought about this too

I got a good laugh out of yours.

"DON'T TELL ME NO!"

The one I say the most is "don't you dare say NO to me!!" You will do this!!! LOL yea, and the laundry thing drives me nuts too, or when their action says they are telling a joke or chatting, i'm like, there is no time for this, find something better to do!

Lori *Queen of the Dumptrucks*

OMG, I NEED SOME KIDS!!

I haven't said anything, I don't talk much when I'm playing on the computer, but I've already THOUGHT a lot of these things, lol.

Some things I've (only just) whispered were:

*Stop chasing around all those women! They all have babies!
*No! Only children can be curious about the rock(/ruins/ect.)! Research!
*RESEARCH, or I'll make you drink the poison red stuff you found on the beach!
*Go fishing! There aren't any more fish in the lagoon!
*Whaaat?! No swimming lessons at the school? Grr... I'll make them swim...

Just said to my villagers:

"Leave that stupid rock alone and research!"

"No, you can't water that golly gee darn patch right now, RESEARCH!"

"LEAVE THE BOULDER ALONE!" >_<

**certain words changed for the innocent**

I had a runner. I worked him like a horse. The other day I opened up my game and said:

"Oh my gosh! You're old now. (noticing the speed, or lack thereof, inwhich he was walking) I said, "I think I ought to get you a Granny walker. Here my man, For years of dedicated hard work and putting up with my every whim, you can now be a scientist and just hangout at the research table"
He walks away after a few minutes

"Do you have Alzheimer or something? I said you work on the research table. These kids are gonna knock you over and you're gonna break a hip!"

HOLLY COW! i left for 20 min. and i already have like 60 children! (true story)

"urg...why are all the stupid babies girls, i'm never getting any baby boys...!!!!!)

i've got 1 guy left in my village...and he's like...54!
(they're gonna die out pretty soon....)

"Right now is not the time to be worrying about food ... Now get back to work " !!!!!

- I have 4 healers on VV2-
"Why are all of u just standing there? HEAL SOMEONE ALREADY!!!!!!
"I have 40 kids but I can't find one to pick up a shell!"

My husband thinks I am insane I sit here yelling at the little people constantly.

Today I was thinking: "Get off her you creep! She is the only Master Scientist and I need tech!!!
.....and......
"Would you hurry up and drop that kid already! You have been nursing for 0 minutes for 10 minutes now!!!"

"Building small hut....WHAT hut? There's nothing there!"

"So my villagers have now created invisible huts...What next?"

1. "Hey! Stop slacking off! DO YOUR RESEARCH OR WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE!!"

2. "That is the ocean, the place to go if you continue doing laundry!"

3. "What the!!?? Stupid golden child, everybody BACK TO WORK"

4. "Oh my gosh, DONT LOOK AT THE STUPID VINES! PICK THE MUSHROOM!"

EDIT: on quote number two I would NEVER actually throw an innocent villager into the ocean.

"OMG!!! Why aren't my villagers mov-....PARTY?!"

"Stop kissing him! He obviously doesn't want you to have his child!" (though she would always try, and ended up having like 10 kids, none of them were his...)

"That boulder ain't moving until the Golden Child comes, so stop it and keep researching!"

"Don't eat, dig! DIIIIIIIG!"

What the heck is wrong with you! You don't need to do laundry with your identical twin!! theres already 5 people doing the stinkin laundry!
and
HURRY UP ALREADY! Walk FASTER then a snail you slowpokes!

Man, there lives must suck! All they can eat are vegetables, berries and fish, I don't really like any of those.

Why do you keep running away from her She's beautiful
You have no taste WHAT SO EVER!!!

Your people don't actually have to go inside to have babies. You just drag one onto the other and see if the population goes up. If it dosn't, do it again. Even if the population does go up, they still don't need to go inside, a baby just magicaly appears in there arms.

man,i totaly agrry this what i usily say:quit running from me!!The.....huts cant be fixed eney more!!!!ARE you dumb or somthing cant you see that mushruum!!!!!!!!!!I named one after me and it turned out to breed way to much and i got realy mad. lol.

Mine's basically just been a lot of frustrated swearing at not being able to figure out the puzzles, and being extremely frustrated that my first Master Scientist, and my only Runner don't take care of themselves, and don't eat, and then I have to yell at them and tell them, "Stop working already! Go eat! Oh, you don't want to eat? I'll MAKE you eat!!!!" And then there's my personal favorite, "How stupid are you? Go to work!" (this of my Master Builder, who is so dumb that he just stands around most of the time doing nothing, and whenever I try to make him do something, he winds up walking or running away, and shaking his head. This of course makes me think, "OK, I guess the old addage of brawn without brains is true!"


The one I don't understand though, is when my alpha male stands around, and on action it says, "Waiting For Someone", and one of my females comes walking up to him, and kisses him, and he runs away!

I was like, "What are you running for, you moron? You stood around WAITING for her to come up to you, and now you're running for her? Do you really deserve to be alpha male?" lol.

I was intrigued with the game when they stopped having food shortages because they could fish now, and I quit the game, and came back later, and all of a sudden villagers are telling each other jokes, complaining, laughing, relaxing, etc. I was surprised and pleased. It just seems like it's making this game go faster (well, finding the detailed puzzle answers helped too! I was really ready to give up in frustration before finding it!)

OMG I did not put you there!

Okay...who KISSED HER?

ENOUGH with the GC parties!

Stop running around!

Someone round up the kids!

No,I said GO INDOORS do your business don't go building that hut and No,research don't forage into the ocean you go!

if only having babies was as easy and pain free as it is these games

AHhhh haaaa!! SO true!! Oh, that is so on-the-money!! I've thought every one of those things! Great!!

I say:

"Why in heck are you doing laundry?!?"
"Quit throwing parties GC!!! "
"GET BACK TO WORK!!!NO MORE PARTIES!"
"Why are you swimming???GET TO WORK!"

Thats what I usually say...Or think...

This is the funniest list ever. I am new but here's me:

A skeleton! Who is it? What happened? Nishi! Nishi! My best worker! Wait......Nishi was holding twins! Where are Nishi's twins???????

That was early in the game. Now, it's:

Anybody caught washing their laundry or relaxing by the pond is going to church! That is when I pick them up and drop them in front of the idol.

I started a new game, and had to repeatedly start over before I finally got a runner (well, technically, I had a runner in the original new game, but, I left them to go to bed, woke up, checked on them, and they were all dead), and this runner is female. Well, she was working on something important in order to solve a puzzle, and so, my newest line is this:

"Don't want to do her work? Well then, next time, don't get her pregnant, and take her away from her real duties! Now stop running away and get back to doing her work!!!!!"

He keeps running away. It's funny, but frustrating.

Oh no you don't! You have 25 kids to support so leave that boulder alone and get over here and catch some fish!

1.You can worry about food AFTER you get me tech points!
2.Oh....So nature is calling? Get the stupid mushroom instead!
3.Why are you all so interested in the patch of soil when you should be making a dam!
4.You worthless little 14-year old!
5.120 min.?Better get the movie in the DVD player....

LOL anna! very funny!

And....
I named you all after celeberties because you guys are spoiled little "I like to shake my head alot"people!

i've said
"How can you adults not see the mushrooms? The mushrooms are like as big as a 2 year old. Maybe bigger! #@$%@%^^$*!@$@#%$!

Oh I forgot:


Don't you shake your head at me!

lol, i've said a lot of the same things as the rest of you

me too, here's one, sorry if its a repitition i wasnt going to read all of the them. Didn't you just had a baby with her...and her...and her...and her?

Hehe, that's what male villagers do

If you are old enough to work, you are old enough to have babies.

What the heck are you doing? researching still? I have bought everything!

Stop doing laundry. You don't change clothes anyway.

STOP DOING NOTHING!!!! I PUT YOU TO WORK AND I WANT YOU TO WORK!!!!!!

NUUUUU!!!!! YOU WERNT SUPPOSED TO DIE YET!!!!

and GET YOUR LAZY BUTTS BACK TO WORKING ON THE DAM! YOUR RUNNING OUT OF FOOD!!!

Stop worrying about housing, if you want more housing you have to have a word with LDW.

okay u guys made better ones than me

get your lazy behinds back to work
stop having babies, yu, nitwit, you're running out of food
dont talk to me anymore, you are ugly

Post deleted by LadyCFII

i know i've said this more than once "i don't care if "nature is calling!" just pick the mushroom!"

~Clare

ohhhh and "STOP CELEBRATING AND GET BACK TO WORK I DON'T CARE IF A SOLVED A @&*$%ING PUZZLE!!!!!!!!!!

~Clare

Are you sure you want to be a SPCV Member? If yes, you'll have to change this attitude!!

I'll take her place!

One of the things that kept me from joining the SPCV was this that I would wonder to myself, and I know there are others, even in the SPCV, like me:
Do the SPCV laws apply to the GC?

Yes!! Absolutly Yes!!
Do you think he is not a Villager? Do you think he is not a Child? He is!!
So the SPCV laws apply to the GC!!

I usually, after the 15th partty in the same minute, say:
Attention! Attentin! This tribe is now a party-free zone! All partiers will be in trouble if- Hey, I didn't even finish and you are dancing on the dead people!?!?!?!?!

SPCV????

Something against Cruelty to Villagers Satai...

It's the Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Villagers.

I joined.

"How dare you not WORK and eat instead! YOU ARE A PIECE OF DATA! You are supposed to work,you,slacker!"

Ah, OK, thank you.

Here are some things I have said,

1. Move on already! Your 73 and he's 33! MOVE ON!!!

2.We are in a food crisus and your worring about food! Your a farmer! Go farm and you won't have to worry about food!

3.Come on Luke. I know it's fun to throw parties but... WE ARE TRYING TO COMPLETE A PUZZLE HERE!!!!

4.Uh uh! No way! That last baby to be had is reserved for someone else to have!

HOW MANY OF THE 75 CHILDREN ARE YOURS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

My male builder was almost ready with the first hut when he all of a sudden starts repairing the love hut. So I tried to bribe him:

"Go finish that hut you were building, and I'll see to that you and that gorgeous blonde will get it on in the love hut in a minute or so."

I don't think it would have worked, but you never know. I was too impatient though, about two seconds later I moved him back myself.

"Oh..Hello dear Mr.Goldy,How are you doing? Oh..Partying,that's fine,no worries." An hour later......
"Oh,Goldy,you're still partying,ok...." 2 hours later.......
"GOLDY! STOP PARTYING OR ELSE! A PERSON DIED OF STARVATION!" 10 hours later...
(Sleepy,woke up in the middle of the night to check on the villagers) "Yawn,wonder what the villagers are doing......"(Went to the computer and opened VV) "WHAT THE! ALL THE VILLAGERS ARE DEAD! No,wait a second one is alive....GOLDY!"
Note: This part can be too violent so I won't mention it!

I see and won't ask what happened.

That's weird, You could collect mushrooms as a child, but now you can't?! You all grow up TOO fast!

"Okay, Joe, seriously. Stop with the love making. We have like, 5 things of food left on the food bin and you've gotten busy with 3 women. We cannot afford that many mouths to feed. So do your researching stuff so we can plant crops." - After my researcher, Joe, at the beggining of the game decided to make babies with three of my women in the village.

"PATRICK. STOP WITH THE PARTYING. YOU JUST HAD ONE A MIINUTE AGO AND I'M TRYING TO TEACH PETE HOW TO FARM." - After my GC had a party right after he had one. Seriously, can this kid be more annoying?

"If I WANTED another mouth to feed I would have let you have one {virtual} YEARS ago,not when your 65!!!!!"

It's best not to say the rest of them

1) OMG isn't that your brother? Stop chasing him!
2) Why are you enjoying the pond AGAIN when your village is starving! WATER SOMETHING!!
3) (my daughter) Mom...the freaky kids having a party again....
4) I installed you into this world and I can uninstall you out of it!

WHY are you doing laundry?!?!?!?!? I don't care if you wear the same clothes for 50 years! GET BACK TO WORK!!

"okay, the population is at 90 already, so stop being a ladies man and get back to work! wait... isn't that your mom?!? you're DISGUSTING!"

After leaving my little village alone for a whole day, I came back to find I had 4 adult males, 8 females all nursing, and 61 children running around. To the four men all of whom were researching...

"Fish! Fish! I didn't tell you to kiss those girls! Now you're all going to starve!"

Gives new meaning to "kissed the girls and made them cry", huh.

Haha, funny knksmiles. Hopefully they all live.

"Oh, that's a guy?!?! NO WONDER this wasn't working1"

The kids all lived to a ripe old age of around 75. When I got up this morning, my population had gone from 91 to 38 as they all got old at the same time. And I now have more than half my population under 14 again. Talk about baby booms!

i've said pretty much everything under this topic, so i don't really have anything to add, but ROFL!!! =)

Note: for those of you who have the GC before you complete all of the puzzles, get ready for a world of headaches because he will throw your village down and suck them dry. But, all the same he is a miracle worker I always start yelling things like "if you don't stop that party, I will make sure you will go back from whence you came!"

Heres a thing I always say:OMG just because we solved a piece of a puzzle doesnt mean you all need to stop what ur doing and start partying. I've done plenty of puzzles and when I find a piece i dont just starting partying.

(see attactment)
I said: WHY ARE YOU FISHING WHEN THE FISH LIMIT IS LIMITED? HUH? CANT YOU DO SOMETHING EEELLSSEEE????????????????????

Get your butts back to work. No work, no food, to play time, no parties, no swimming. Just get back to WORK already.

and

Where the heck did the kid go!? I have a mushroom and no one to pick the stupid thing up!

i said:

"What? Theres lots of villagers that need a medic and you just walk away?

You, sir, have no heart."

(see attactment)

1) How in the world did I end up with so many adept parents now running around over populating my tribe while I'm not looking?? We really need to get you cable!
2) DON'T shake your head at me! I said yes you will learn to do this task!
3) Why when you are trying to do something must all these children just stand in your way to watch?!?!
4) I have taken you to reserch 5 times now and here you lay in the dirt again wondering what to do!
5) I didn't mean to drop you on someone of the same gender or that was to young stop running away!

OMG GC YOUR MAKING ANOTHER PARTY!?! Man you people need tv instead of a young child tellin ya to party at 4:00 In the morning!!!

Yes YES A pink haired girl! No No DON'T KISS HIM!!!! Kiss THIS Man NOT Him!

Yeah I noticed that. Also the older women "take" way quicker: my fastest was a 72-yr-old woman-just once.

I keep saying...

This would be one messed up family tree...

I ended up entering all my villagers into a genealogy program that I've had forever...it is just as messed up as I thought it would be!

Brix

The first time I played VV1, I didn't realize that 90 was the max population, so when it came time for the Golden Child to be born, nobody could get pregnant because I was already maxed out!

I spent a good bit of my playing time for the next two or three days pulling people away from food, and going, "I need someone to die! Somebody please die already!" and things of that nature.

Also, when I got to the magic garden puzzle, I kept muttering to myself, "No wonder all the flowers are dead. People keep peeing on them."

From the lips of my 7 yr old daughter:

"They're dancing on the dead, Mommy. Make them stop! It's all the Golden Child's fault. Shame on you Golden Child!"

LOL.
I agree with the laundry.
My farmer will be working hard getting some food and out of nowhere he pulls out his laundry basket.
Im sitting there like what the heck.....yall need food not clean clothes.

ya i dont even get why they clean the laundry i mean like itss not like they ever change to other clothes

Oh no you don't "go indoors"!!!! Ahhh gasp...you're nursing?!! grrrrrrrrr

Lolll. Both my mom and I play the game, normally we'll be in different rooms while playing. Last night, I'm minding my own business in an otherwise quiet living room; and out of the computer room I hear; "No, you don't get to pee, THERE'S A MUSHROOM THERE FOR YOU TO PICK! Go, get the mushroom, you don't need to answer the phone when nature calls!"

I laughed for a good five minutes. xD

300 women times three with one male? ill need to order farmers and healers by phone!

Family tree my behind...this is a bush...
You,you there...take that pretty girl "indoors"..and she better come out with a baby..
Nooo....stop doing laundry..it's useless
Izzy? Not Izzy...she died already? (I named my first 7 after Grey's Anatomy Characters)
You..stop with the bolder..I will figure that out later...now bury George over there...he stinks.


I figure..if My husband can yell at the tv while playing Madden 2008...I can at my computer..lol!

no more laundry, no more laundry pleeeease!!!!

*drag the peep to do his job; he stays a while, waves his head and go do other things* Why don't you stAY THERE??? grrrrr *dragging the peep back to the place*

No, you can continue building later, right now I want you to harvest now GET TO WORK!

I bet you guys have said this.
1. " I have told you a million times, do not get the berries! You need to get to the research table or you WILL starve to death!!
2.You do it or else you know what will happen!
3.Do you think I CARE about that boulder. NO! SO LEAVE IT ALONE!
4.I hate you, Tuna! I REALLY HATE YOU!
5. Gah, get a life Popiki!
6. Well, he's a goner!

ivé told u guys a gazilyen time u can gouf of when the puzzle's r done but till then get back to work!

Ive said 2,5, and 6 WAYYYYY too many times!! amanda, I have that same problem allll the time!

Aha, chocolatechip, mine's Pupa LOL!!

I said another one.

"Wow, if I had the glove you guys would be BEYOND unhappy."

Nice one! Heres a few more...
1. That's it! You have pulled the last straw! Yeah that's right! you better run!
2. Watch it, kid!
3.Wait. Why pee in the magical garden! The first builders are very unhappy with you!
4. Wil Isola blow up if you don't do laundry? NO! It won't! So drop the laundry and WORK!

That's all folks!

Haha, thanks. And those are pretty good too!

1.a. "dont honor that idol! you are to be a christian tribe."

1.b "well yes theres the whole iscathsue but i said christian...not perfect!"

2. grrrr. stop doing nothing gc and make berries.

i havent had a party issue tho...if the gc looks bored i just call the kids to school and that fixes that.

Ha, good job Beafish!

I started a new tribe and this is what I've said..

1. YES! A Runner! Finally!
2. If your worried about food stop eating it!
3. Stop Shaking your head and get to work!

I've said:
1. IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT FOOD, DO SOMTHING ABOUT IT!!
2. No, go fishing, don't dothe laundry!
3. Why can't you two make a baby!

Nice ones, Kikiann11! now here are some of mine!

1. I don't know if it's really all that safe when you walk by those pointy rocks with no shoes on.
2. Stop throwing a party, GC!
3. We have a master doctor? Whoa.
4. Not another Party!

That's all I have.

"Why are you watering there? That's where the kids go to the bathroom!"

"If you're so smart, Adept Scientist Naki, why don't you invent birth control?"

I recently started a new game. There are two adult women in the colony, both high level builders and scientists, and they're having babies like shelling peas.

"Harvest some food please! If you worry about it, you won't get food, if you will work, you get food! Kapish? OMG, I wonder what are the "scientists" researching then?"

"You're wearing ONLY one suit.... Do you have 100 of them? Sigh, I'll let you do the laundry, then go back to work!"

"For the love of God, another party?"

"Are you sterile?!"

"Nooooo you don't.....gotcha!"

"Are you ever gonna go to the shack...with anyone?"

Be a good idea to have the red and green glove in VV like in VF

"I hope you know, that I would so be red gloving you right now. Fr srs rlz." Me to the GC when he through yet ANOTHER party.

Annthewhofan made me think of it

"How strange IS that plant anyhow, Trainee Doctor Caia!?"

(watching her pacing back and forth repeatedly, not getting anywhere, and it says "studying strange plant")

Here's some of mine!

Said while dragging a random, very persistent guy away from the girls: "Hey hey hey! Don't touch her! Endesha gets the girls, you get the berries!


Said while searching for my notorious demon child who's never around when I need her for mushrooms: "APONIIII! WHERE ARE YOU?! SOMEBODY NEEDS TO PUT A BELL ON THIS KID!"

"OH NO! NOT WITH THE OLD PEOPLE!"--This was with one time when I had an 18-year-old guy and five 50-year-old women. The man was set on breeding. Need I say more?

"Put that baby down and WORK!"--Also self-explanatory. Those women hold their babies for waaay too long.

I downloaded the demo around 2 years ago, used it up instantly, I just bought it and activated it and the first thing out of my mouth was "Wow!" because I still had people alive and it was on 2x speed and running! There were alot of dead ones, but otherwise it was as if I'd never left it!

i swear if you even think of doing laundry ill put you in that cave and block it again understand

Oh, I love this topic!I seriously should stop talking to my computer...

1. " I swear, If you even THINK about doing the laundry, I'll put you and your kids on boat with a one way ticket to your old island!"
2. " I should confiscate the children's phones. Nature calls them WAY too much."
3. " I vow that one day I will have my revenge on you Golden Child!"
4. "I've already called Santa. None of you will be getting presents this year." ( I lied to them. I deserve a timeout. My mother looked at me like I was crazy when I said that)
5. " I need to put a barricade around that cactus and install a Porta-Potty. They will hurt themselves because of the cactus and I don't like the fact that they peed in my MAGIC garden"
6. " I wonder if the garden has plumbing. There's gotta be a reason they do their buissness there."
7. " I would'nt have made a magical lagoon if I had known it would bring the GC AND laundry."

Anyone else think I'm insane?

^Yes. Insanity is a good thing.

"If a single one of you dies while I am asleep, I will NEVER forgive you. Understand?"

"Hurry up and finish this puzzle so you can finish the rest of the puzzles so I can play VV2!"

"Yay. They restored a magical garden. Celebration. Yay. NOW GET BACK TO WORK, ALL OF YOU!"

"Oh crud." Said when I accidentally dropped one of my builders onto my scientist, thus giving her breeding experience when I intended for her not to have a baby. She hasn't had one... yet...

"Kid, kid, where's a kid? Kid, I need a kid! Oh, there you are! ... Where'd the mushroom go? I know there was one somewhere! Where'd it go? Darn..."

"If you freeze one more time..."

"Stop freezing, you stupid thingy!"

Freezing a lot on me too I hate that when that happens

"Oh, my golden child is actually sick! Yay!" Lol, he doesn't cough when I pick him up though.

"Oh my gosh, did I actually just make her have a baby? Fail. I thought she was sick."

"Golden child, why are you making a party? Your people are sick! Come heal your sick people."

"What? Did someone heal him already? What happened? No one's sick anymore? Cool, the golden child making a party magically healed everyone!"

I got that event with the vial where if you have them drink it it makes everyone but them sick. I let him drink it just because I was bored. :P

"Why are you peeing in the garden? There are PEOPLE THERE. They are watering the field and-- Well I guess you think you're helping them wat the garden. Well it DOESN'T WORK."

1. "WHAT, you actually went indoors with your DAUGHTER when I wasn't looking?!"

2. "If only the people at LDW had created a job called 'Launderer'! Then you'd be a master at it by now!"

3. "*pauses game, tries to drag all kids onto mushroom* Can't you see that mushroom?! Oh, never mind, it's gone."

lol, nice one.....

Well here comes a baby i hear the kiss lol
Why are u running u know u want some
Dang it just research already